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Send your question--any question-- to dsknight@deesknight.com. Please include your name and put Question in your subject line. Thanks!

Monday, March 26, 2012

Q: My best friend—who also is my boyfriend—has been lying to me. He's been sleeping with my other best friend, who is also a guy! We're in our late twenties, so I feel so high school complaining about this, but I have to vent to someone. What do I do? If I cut them off for the lying, cheating bastards they are, I lose the two people closest to me.

Anne: You can't trust either of them. You're better off developing new friendships than trying to rehabilitate them. I say dump them for newer, improved versions.

Dee: Hell, try a threesome. Two guys, one you… Sounds fucking fantastic if you ask me (which you did).

Monday, March 19, 2012

Facebook Faceoff

Q: I just found out my girlfriend posted a naked picture of me on her Facebook page. She thinks it's funny and "adorable" because she says I have a killer body. I think it's disgusting. I don't work out 6 days a week for her to display me like a piece of meat. What can I do?

Anne: Good Lord! Break up with this girl! She obviously doesn't understand or respect you.

Dee: What's the URL?

Monday, March 12, 2012

Hubba-hubba Husband

Q: My husband wants to learn to strip. My husband!!! He says there's a good amount of money to be made fr male strippers, not only at clubs (yes, there's a male strip club nearby), but for parties and such. He's good looking and stays in shape, He's been out of work for the past eleven months, so I hate to say no, but I don't want him to do it. What can I say to convince him?

Anne: Help him find something else. Scour the papers and craigslist and any other outlet for work you can find. I have to believe there's something around other than taking his clothes off. Maybe you'll have to move somewhere for work? Would you be willing?

Dee: Yes, he would be taking off his clothes in front of drinking, sex-starved women. And yes, they would be ogling him with lust in their hearts and minds. Sure, they will be trying to stick their hands down his shorts in an effort to leave a puny dollar bill, and okay, a few might wait for him out back and want to fuck a little. But where's the harm?? Give the guy a break. It takes a lot of courage to get up in front of a howling crowd and show his package. He's willing to do it for his family. What are you willing to let him do?

Really. Examine your heart. If he should take this job, will you leave him? Fight with him every night? Make his (and your own) life miserable? If you trust him not to sow his seed with every backstage groupie, then I say let him try it. If you don't trust him, that's a different problem than what you wrote about.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Wants Another Child (NOT!)

Q: My husband wants another baby. The one we have now is only a year old and I'm already run ragged. I'm not even sure I want any more kids, much less another at this point. What can I say to convince him to wait?

Anne: People who don't take care for children don't know how much it takes to do so. Can you go on a trip for a few days and leave your child for your husband to take care of? That might give him an idea of the energy required. And you should also explain in no uncertain terms that you don’t have the energy or desire for another child right now. Make sure you're clear.

Dee: He likes to practice making kids. Do you? If so, fuck like bunnies—and make sure you’re on good, reliable birth control. Tell hubby that you are and why, and don't give into bullying or unfair persuasion. If sex is what he likes (and what you like) then have at it. If you don't like sex, then that's a different ballgame. In that case, seek help.