Too Much Sex - Is There Such a Thing??

Q: I am a normal male in the 20-30 age group, with what I think is a normal interest in sex. But not according to my girlfriend, who seems to want it constantly. Lately, she's been harping that we need to have sex more because it's a good way for her to keep her weight down—burning calories and all that. I say it's bunk. If she's been gaining weight (and she has put on a few pounds in the last few months) then she should stop eating so much, or take up running or something, and leave me out of it. We've been dating for  two years, and I don't know what's brought up this irrational interest in doing the dirty all of a sudden. Any thoughts?

Anne: While any physical activity burns some calories, you would have to have a lot of sex for long periods each time in order to use it as a weight control program. View the information on Livestrong.com to see what I mean. It seems the better question here is the one you posed at the end: why is this coming up now? What has changed in your relationship for her to want more? And that's something you can only discover through a discussion.

Dee: I prefer Robert Wieder's humorous version of CalorieLab's data. How many calories are burned in oral sex as opposed to Oral Roberts sex? Have a good laugh and then a good fuck, I always say.

Look, you should break up with this girl. You two are obviously not suited, and I'm not laying blame on either of you. But your letter screams that you're having problems, and probably not just with sex. You say your girlfriend is "harping," that you see she's gaining weight but your solutions have nothing to do with you, and that she has an "irrational interest in doing the dirty." Any man who considers a woman who wants lots of sex to be irrational is either totally uninterested in her or irrational himself. Split up with her and do both of you a favor.

Winter Blahs

Q: The dreary winter weather has me down. I don't feel like making love and my boyfriend doesn't understand.

Anne: There is plenty of documentation online that you can use to prove to your boyfriend that there is such a thing as the winter blahs. Make sure he knows this isn't just something you're making up, and then figure out together what the two of you can do to make the best of the situation.

Dee: First, are you sure this isn't an excuse? Do you enjoy fucking? If you don't, no amount of online research is going to make a difference. If you're sure the winter blahs is your problem, buy a sunlamp, for Pete's sake. Find a tanning salon with one, or sit under a skylight for a few minutes each day. Take vitamin D pills. You're letting winter control your sex life? Wake up, wussy, and do something about the problem.

I'm not saying the shorter days of winter don't cause problems. I'm just saying that winter is not the end of the world, or the end of sex.