Holiay Weight Gain

Q: Every single year I am surrounded by baked goods and other yummies during the holidays. And every year I gain weight. What can I do to avoid nibbling on all this food?

Anne: Make a formal request that food be brought to a central place—maybe the break room—instead of having them everywhere, then limit how often you go into the break room. Make a formal request that healthy food be part of the mix. Munching on carrots or fruit is much better for you than baked goods and you still feel that you're enjoying snacks. Make a formal request that bringing in food be limited to one or two days a week. There are other suggestions, but try these and see if you get results.

Dee: Look, the holidays come once a year. Indulge! Exercise and restrict your diet during the other 40-45 weeks of the year. If you're looking for other ways you can snack and keep down your waistline, find new methods to burn calorie. Do you know that you can burn up to 321 calories by engaging in 15 minutes of foreplay and 35 minutes of fucking? A 1-inch brownie has less than 38 calories; a 1-inch chocolate chip cookie has fewer than 70 calories. So give me a break. Eat!

MickyD Marriage Threat

Q: I am married to a junk food junkie. I only like to eat organic, healthy food and it drives me crazy to find a McDonald's wrapper in the car. Before we got married (9 months ago), she said she would change. She hasn't gained weight but we've been talking about starting a family, and how can I allow her to become pregnant when she cares so little for her health?

Anne: How can you allow her to become pregnant? This is something the two of you need to discuss and decide on, not just you. As for her eating habits, it's important, of course, but not the end of the world if your bride eats fast food now and then. Lighten up.

Dee: Yeah, we all know that fast food and healthy, natural food are opposites. If your wife stops at Hardees for a sausage biscuit at breakfast, goes to Taco Bell for lunch and hits MickeyDs for dinner every day, maybe you have reason to worry. But if she stops by one of those joints once in a while, it's nothing. My question to you is, you obviously knew she liked fast food before you got married, right? You marry someone the way they are, not the way you want them to be. You love 'er? Then give her a break and stop being a food nanny. I'll bet there are things about you that drive her crazy, too.

And just another little note, if she should start to gain a little fast food weight, fucking is great exercise. In bed there are always interesting things to eat--for both of you.