Q: My husband wants a divorce. He told me last night, completely out of the blue. He evidently found someone he loves and he no longer loves me. I'm shattered. I don't know what to do. How do I start to handle this?
Anne: Call a lawyer, right now. Call the best one you can find and ask for immediate instructions, even if you can't get an appointment right away. There are things you need to take care of before any more time passes. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I know right now you are stunned, but you need to try and get hold of your emotions. It will be better for you in the long run if you do that—even when you move from being stunned into being angry, which will happen. And then keep in mind that you'll change feelings again. This is like the grieving process you would go through for a death, so don't be afraid. It will pass eventually and you will get your life back. Good luck.
Dee: I wouldn't say find the best lawyer. I'd say to find the sleaziest, mean dog lawyer you can. Go to the bank immediately and tell them what going on—make sure your hubby hasn't emptied your joint accounts. Same with the credit cards. And if you don't have credit cards in your name, apply right away while you still have a married status. If you need to see a shrink, don't feel bad or embarrassed. Anne was right about controlling your emotions. Only if you are in control will you be able to appreciate truly the good feeling of grabbing his balls and squeezing and twisting until he squeals like the pig he is. Good luck. Have fun!
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Monday, May 23, 2011
Monday, June 28, 2010
My Sister's Fiance
Q: I'm eighteen and old enough to know my own mind. I'll start off with that. My sister, twenty-four is engaged to a man I'm in love with. From the moment I saw him I knew he was the man for me. He's twenty-six, smart, handsome and sexy as hell. A few weeks ago we found ourselves alone and I flirted a little. Before I knew it, we were kissing. He touched me in places no one else ever has and I he let me give him head. Since then, we've had to be careful around others, but we've had the chance to kiss and fondle without anyone knowing. I decided not to go to college, choosing to work instead. He's finishing up his Ph.D. in psychology, and could use a wife willing and able to help support the household until he gets on his feet. My sister wants to stay at home and start having kids. We went shopping for her wedding dress last week and as soon as I saw her in bridal white I knew it should be me walking down the aisle instead. How do I tell her with the least amount of drama?
Anne: I respect that you are working instead of going to college if that's what you want, but here are a few words you might need to look up: fidelity, trust, loyalty, sister, love. Or how about SANITY? I mean really. You flirted with your sister's fiancé, had sex with him and then continued finding ways to cheat with him behind her back. As despicable as I find his behavior, he's an outsider. You're family. She can get rid of the jerk (and should), but she's stuck with you. More's the pity. Here's my advice: Back off, little girl. Keep your hands (and mouth) off your sister's man. And if you really want to do some good, find some way to let her know what a scumbag she's about to marry before it's too late.
Dee: Well, damn. I sure hope you received some compensation for the blow job(s) you gave Asshole because otherwise you're going to be left shit out of luck when this little cluster fuck becomes known. And believe me, it will come out, if not from you to your sister, then from him or someone else. There's no such thing as the perfect secret, don't you know? And if you pointedly explain to your sister how you deserve Asshole more than she does (and I happen to agree about that), you'll lose Asshole and your sister. In fact, I'd be surprised if you were invited to Thanksgiving dinners if you do that.
This is my advice to you: keep your mouth closed from now on, mostly when Asshole has his zipper open. Stay away from him and grow up. The only man in the world you're interested in is the one guy your sister supposedly loves? To me that speaks more of sibling rivalry than a true feeling on your part. Come to grips with the fact that he's eight years older than you and studying psychology, a surefire way to find out how to manipulate people, especially immature, younger sisters who are willing to suck cock. Stop being an idiot and remember your sister is your sister forever. Assholes come and go. Trust me when I say that as soon as you tell your sister that you love her man—and he loves you back—you'll lose her trust and love and he'll drop you like an STD.
And oh yeah, talk with someone and determine how to warn your sister that Asshole is just that. If you continue on this path and/or let her marry him when you know what kind of man he really is, you'll make sin even worse.
Anne: I respect that you are working instead of going to college if that's what you want, but here are a few words you might need to look up: fidelity, trust, loyalty, sister, love. Or how about SANITY? I mean really. You flirted with your sister's fiancé, had sex with him and then continued finding ways to cheat with him behind her back. As despicable as I find his behavior, he's an outsider. You're family. She can get rid of the jerk (and should), but she's stuck with you. More's the pity. Here's my advice: Back off, little girl. Keep your hands (and mouth) off your sister's man. And if you really want to do some good, find some way to let her know what a scumbag she's about to marry before it's too late.
Dee: Well, damn. I sure hope you received some compensation for the blow job(s) you gave Asshole because otherwise you're going to be left shit out of luck when this little cluster fuck becomes known. And believe me, it will come out, if not from you to your sister, then from him or someone else. There's no such thing as the perfect secret, don't you know? And if you pointedly explain to your sister how you deserve Asshole more than she does (and I happen to agree about that), you'll lose Asshole and your sister. In fact, I'd be surprised if you were invited to Thanksgiving dinners if you do that.
This is my advice to you: keep your mouth closed from now on, mostly when Asshole has his zipper open. Stay away from him and grow up. The only man in the world you're interested in is the one guy your sister supposedly loves? To me that speaks more of sibling rivalry than a true feeling on your part. Come to grips with the fact that he's eight years older than you and studying psychology, a surefire way to find out how to manipulate people, especially immature, younger sisters who are willing to suck cock. Stop being an idiot and remember your sister is your sister forever. Assholes come and go. Trust me when I say that as soon as you tell your sister that you love her man—and he loves you back—you'll lose her trust and love and he'll drop you like an STD.
And oh yeah, talk with someone and determine how to warn your sister that Asshole is just that. If you continue on this path and/or let her marry him when you know what kind of man he really is, you'll make sin even worse.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Chunky Hips, Not Fat Head
Q: I am overweight. Not horribly, terribly, but well, I guess a fair amount. I like to eat and enjoy cooking. And I'm good at both. I'm Italian, what can I say? For the first time in my life (I'm 28) I have a boyfriend, Mac, and I think it's getting serious. He's lean and mean without an ounce of body fat. Mac runs (I don't), plays weekend sports (I don't), belongs to a health club (I don't). He's considering taking part in the Boston marathon. If he does, I'll meet him at the finish line. Mac says he loves me no matter what, but his family is a different story. They're all active like Mac, but unlike Mac, I don't feel they will love me no matter what. He's taking me with him and his family to Cape Cod for two weeks this month and I'm so worried I'm making myself sick. What can I do?
Anne: Have you told Mac your fears? I'm sure he would do whatever he could to help. That aside, you have to let his family know that you are happy with yourself. If you are relaxed and confident in your own personality that will come across. That's what it takes to help them see beyond your shape and into your heart.
If your relationship with Mac does continue, maybe being around someone who's active will inspire you to do more. Exercise is a great thing to do with someone else (like someone you love), so I see only a win-win for you. Good luck!
Dee: Normally when someone is worried I say make sure there's plenty of booze and ice cream, but…well you seem to like this Mac guy. Sometimes alcohol isn't the best policy, and ice cream…? Doesn't seem appropriate in the situation, does it? Listen, Mac is the person you love. Let his family see what he loves about you--your humor, your unique perspective on the world, your fantastic risotto--whatever it is. Don't try to be someone you're not. If they don't appreciate you and it's because of your size, well then screw 'em. There's no hope for some people.
Anne: Have you told Mac your fears? I'm sure he would do whatever he could to help. That aside, you have to let his family know that you are happy with yourself. If you are relaxed and confident in your own personality that will come across. That's what it takes to help them see beyond your shape and into your heart.
If your relationship with Mac does continue, maybe being around someone who's active will inspire you to do more. Exercise is a great thing to do with someone else (like someone you love), so I see only a win-win for you. Good luck!
Dee: Normally when someone is worried I say make sure there's plenty of booze and ice cream, but…well you seem to like this Mac guy. Sometimes alcohol isn't the best policy, and ice cream…? Doesn't seem appropriate in the situation, does it? Listen, Mac is the person you love. Let his family see what he loves about you--your humor, your unique perspective on the world, your fantastic risotto--whatever it is. Don't try to be someone you're not. If they don't appreciate you and it's because of your size, well then screw 'em. There's no hope for some people.
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