Dream Lover

Q: I am a grown woman—well past childhood. But I have the biggest crush on a TV star. I won't say who it is, but he's on one of the CSI shows. Oh my God, I think of him all the time. I imagine him kissing me and running his hands all over my body while he tongues my nipples. I've never seen him naked, but I can picture him, erect and hard. I daydream about kneeling before him and sucking him off until he comes in my mouth. Worst, when my husband and I have sex, it's my dream man I feel pushing into me and I come harder than ever before. I know—I know—this kind of delusion is childish, but I can't seem to get past it. What can I do? I feel myself pulling away from my husband and daydreaming more about my Star Man.

Anne: I think this is more an issue between you and your husband. Something is wrong and you've substituted a safe lover for the man with whom you're having trouble. Get counseling before your daydreams ruin your marriage.

Dee: Wow! I had to take a break and sip something cold before I could sit still long enough to type.

There's nothing wrong with daydreaming a secret lover now and then. We all have fantasies. But you have to know the difference between fucking a dream and fucking the man you've said you would spend your real life with. If you are confused about that, it's time to step back and reevaluate—maybe with a marriage counselor.

Winter Blahs

Q: The dreary winter weather has me down. I don't feel like making love and my boyfriend doesn't understand.

Anne: There is plenty of documentation online that you can use to prove to your boyfriend that there is such a thing as the winter blahs. Make sure he knows this isn't just something you're making up, and then figure out together what the two of you can do to make the best of the situation.

Dee: First, are you sure this isn't an excuse? Do you enjoy fucking? If you don't, no amount of online research is going to make a difference. If you're sure the winter blahs is your problem, buy a sunlamp, for Pete's sake. Find a tanning salon with one, or sit under a skylight for a few minutes each day. Take vitamin D pills. You're letting winter control your sex life? Wake up, wussy, and do something about the problem.

I'm not saying the shorter days of winter don't cause problems. I'm just saying that winter is not the end of the world, or the end of sex.

The End of Football Season

Q: I wonder what most women do when their husband's are glued to the football playoffs. I shop online. What do you do?

Anne: Online shopping sounds fun but too expensive for me. I read. (Right now I'm reading The White Lady by Philippa Gregory.)

Dee: Watching big, healthy men fight it out on a field of battle gets my blood warm. I watch with Jack, scream and (especially) moan at all the appropriate times, touching, cuddling and tossing in a few wet kisses along the way. My nipples harden and my pussy twitches each time there's a pile-up—all those husky men on top of other husky men. Near the end of play I'm hot to go. Let's just say we don't watch the post-game analysis. It's cheaper than shopping, good aerobic exercise, and a lot more fun.