Hubba-hubba Husband

Q: My husband wants to learn to strip. My husband!!! He says there's a good amount of money to be made fr male strippers, not only at clubs (yes, there's a male strip club nearby), but for parties and such. He's good looking and stays in shape, He's been out of work for the past eleven months, so I hate to say no, but I don't want him to do it. What can I say to convince him?

Anne: Help him find something else. Scour the papers and craigslist and any other outlet for work you can find. I have to believe there's something around other than taking his clothes off. Maybe you'll have to move somewhere for work? Would you be willing?

Dee: Yes, he would be taking off his clothes in front of drinking, sex-starved women. And yes, they would be ogling him with lust in their hearts and minds. Sure, they will be trying to stick their hands down his shorts in an effort to leave a puny dollar bill, and okay, a few might wait for him out back and want to fuck a little. But where's the harm?? Give the guy a break. It takes a lot of courage to get up in front of a howling crowd and show his package. He's willing to do it for his family. What are you willing to let him do?

Really. Examine your heart. If he should take this job, will you leave him? Fight with him every night? Make his (and your own) life miserable? If you trust him not to sow his seed with every backstage groupie, then I say let him try it. If you don't trust him, that's a different problem than what you wrote about.

Desperate Denver Dan

Q: How can I convince my wife to have sex when her family is visiting? This year has been hell. I'm working and my wife is, too. Unfortunately, a good number of her family is not, and they've all been staying with us. First one brother, then another brother with his wife and kid, her sister with her two kids and then her mom decided to come for two weeks. Now the first brother is lai off and back again. We have a small house and my wife has refused to have sex unless we happen to be home and all of them are out—which has happened twice in three months. I'm about to die—or kill someone. Which should I do to get back to normal relations?

Anne: You poor guy! But what a nice guy, too, to help your wife's family. I think (if financially possible) you should pay everyone to go out to dinner or a movie once a week. Or maybe you and your wife could afford a motel room now and then? You're stuck between helping family and helping yourself. Just remember that this bad economy won't last forever.

Dee: I understand it's difficult to explain to a brother that you want some time alone to hump his sister, but you are married. It's not like you're asking him to give you time alone to fuck his teenage sister in the bed of a 1985 Ford at the end of a farm lane in Virginia Beach. Not that anyone I know ever did that… Anyway, if you can't talk to her family and convince them to leave you alone, then you have to do something else. Go somewhere. "Get a room," or even use the bed of an old Ford pickup. Be imaginative or your marriage will end before the recession.

In the meantime, have you suggested she give you a little relief? A BJ might be nice to take the edge off, or even a hand job. Don't be shy.