More Than Babies Like Nipples

Q: My girlfriend wears her clothes too short and tight. Sometimes she doesn't wear a bra, so her nipples are visible through her tops. Everywhere we go men ogle her, but she doesn't seem to mind looking and acting like a slut. I love seeing her look sexy, but I want to be the only man who sees her like that. When I bring it up to her, she just says I should be proud that other men find her sexy, and to stop feeling jealous. Somehow, it doesn't work that way for me. But whenever we come home, the sex is hotter than the sun.

Anne: This is a real problem and I feel for you. Unfortunately, it's her body and her choice of what she wears. As long as she stays covered enough not to be arrested, you're out of luck.

Dee: The last line of your note says it all—the sex is hot after you've been out and watched your girl nearly show it all to other men. You might not like seeing them leer, but you like the results later on. So are you really so much against her exposure?

Look, you have to decide what you're willing to live with and what you're not. If you can't stand seeing her nipples on full display for others, then leave. If you like the hot fucking more then you dislike her short skirts and braless tops, then shut up and learn to enjoy her attributes in public as well as private.

Older But Maybe Not Wiser

Q: I'm what's come to be known as a cougar. My boyfriend of a year is 12 years younger than me. I'm…let's say past the legal drinking age by about 25 years and he's in his 30s. He seems perfectly happy with our relationship. I love parts of it (especially the frequent and fantastic sex), but I get nervous going out with him. I keep thinking everyone's staring at us and wondering how much I'm paying to get a young stud for a date. What I think they're saying behind my back makes me feel like a slut, not a nice man's lover. If we could stay home, just with each other, I'd be more content, but he's very social and likes to be out with his friends. What should I do?

Anne: It's a cliché to say that if the roles were reversed—if you were a man and he a woman—no one would think anything of the situation you're in. You are woman. Let's hear you roar. I say try to enjoy your relationship—he seems to be.

Dee: OMG! You are being fucked senseless by—in your own words—a stud, and you're questioning what? Why he's screwing you? Something about your technique must be good. Then are you asking why he takes you out with his friends? He must not be embarrassed by your looks or manners. So you're wondering why he "seems perfectly happy" with the status quo? Lady, you must be doing something right!!!!

Now, if you think there's something wrong with what you're doing, like if you think there's something morally objectionable about an older woman being with a younger man, then break it off. Send him away to make some other older woman happy. Otherwise, relax, smile and enjoy your good fortune—plenty of other women would love being between your bed sheets.

Halloween Habit

Q: I like dressing up and going out, and Halloween is a big deal for me. Every year I try to outdo the previous year's costume. It just so happens that each year the fabric in my costume covers less and less of me. Actually, I like looking slutty now and then, and again, what better time than Halloween? My boyfriend of eight months (meaning he didn't know me last Halloween) says I look like I want to fuck all night, with whoever's available at the party. I say he's dressing like a pirate and looks hotter than Johnny Depp, so who's trying to attract attention? I think he'd be happy if I dressed as an Arab woman and wore a burkha. I can't convince him that the only guy I plan to screw Halloween night is him—and that light is dimming with each of his criticisms. What should I do, give in or be myself?

Anne: Be yourself, always. Once he sees you're not out to score with the guys at the party, he will understand.

Dee: Wear a burkha to make him happy and tell every guy you meet that you're not wearing anything under it. See if that makes him any happier. And who knows? Maybe someone will be willing to sneak under the robe and give you a little tickle. That would be fun...

Someone who wants to cheat will find a way to do it regardless of what they're wearing. Whether or not you later spend the night with him screwing like rabbits is up to you. Frankly, I might try finding someone willing to take you as you are—a once-a-year slut with good intentions.