The Benefits of Travel

Q: I have worked all my life and now I want to take time and travel. Unfortunately, I'm married to a home-body. How can I convince my wife of the wonders of traveling the world?

Anne: Travel companies compose their brochures to show the very best of the places they travel, Choose places you're interested in and find some brochures. The pictures and descriptions should entice her into getting out and around.

Dee: Use sex. (Yeah, right. Like you don't already know how to do that.) But I mean find places that encourage the activity. I know for a fact that many of the houses uncovered in Pompeii are covered in graphic depictions of people fucking. You'll turn an ankle hurrying back to the hotel. And there's a temple in Thailand that boasts the same, including anal sex and blowjobs. Suggest you go to India, home of the Kama Sutra, where you might take a few hours to study the text—or at least the pictures. That's what I always look at.

Travel doesn't always have to be about learning another culture in polite, in-company ways. There could be a lot for the two of you to explore with (and in) each other if you choose your travels well. Good luck!

Nearly 60 and Loving It

Q: I am a woman nearly 60-years old and quite well off. I have become attracted to a man in his early 20s. In fact, he's finishing college this spring. He's bright and intelligent and young, and he makes me feel young again. He escorts me to opera, ballet and art gallery openings, but truth be told I'd want to be with him for the sex alone. It's better than anything I've ever known—intense, emotional and frequent. He's taught me about anal sex (which I've never been brave enough to try) and things like pocket rockets and ben wa balls. Sex with him is like a whole, forbiiden world I've loved exploring. The problem is my friends, family and his friends and family. On his side, everyone thinks he's doing something awful spending his time with an old woman. On my side, everyone thinks he's after my money and just wants to live off me. They are making life difficult for us. I'm in this for the ride and have no illusions that he loves me. I give him gifts because I like to and I can. Is there anything wrong with that?

Anne: It could be said that you are leading him down a bad path, encouraging him to rely on a woman for his livelihood. However, if both of you accept the rules of the game you've started, I don't see anything wrong with what you're doing. I would advise you not to sign anything.

Dee: Good golly. You're almost 60 and you snapped up a young 20 something guy?? How the hell did you do that? Conversation, escort duties and all the fucking you can handle (or maybe more, dare I hope?). Life has treated you well woman! Tell those screwball friends and family that they're just jealous and if they can't get with the program, to buzz off. Take life by the horns! You can't make your friends happy and they shouldn't have the power to fuck up your happiness.

Getting a Little in the End

Q: My husband likes anal sex. I'm not crazy about it, but I want to please him in a special way every now and then. I feel I should know more about it, though. What should I know that I don't know to ask?

Anne: Hygiene is everything. Make sure you stay clean and that your husband cleans his … you know before and after anal sex. And now you know as much as I do about that form of sex. Sis…?

Dee: Anne is right, cleanliness is next to godliness when it comes to taking it in the backdoor—although the Almighty might not like being associated with anal sex. That applies to you, too. Make sure you've evacuated yourself before the big event. (Yes, that means just what it sounds like. Having a gentle shit isn't good enough. Sacrifice for the greater good.)

Wikipedia has an article on anal sex with pictures and all (not for viewing during work, I might add). It's not full of info, but will let you see that the practice isn't so perverse. In other words, your husband isn't alone in his desire for it. (By the way, did you know Wikipedia also has a site for sexual positions? It's like a mini, Kama Sutra online.) There are other sites, like Sextutor, Babeland and Freddy and Eddy.

In addition to being hygienic, the next most important factor—especially for you—is to use a good lubricant. The anus doesn't naturally have much secretion to ease penetration, so tell your hubby to use a good cream or gel designed for the anus. You can find them at any sex shop or site, like Adam and Eve. Without being well lubricated, you're likely to experience pain, and that's not the purpose of sex between two consenting adults.

Start easy and work your way up. This is one time when foreplay is really vital. Have your husband finger you first, gradually working his fingers in and stretching you before he actually penetrates you. That should be fun for him as well as stimulating for you.

Explore anal sex toys. The variety will knock you on your ass—no pun intended. If you find you enjoy the act, maybe you'd like to try a butt plug so you'll be more available, so to speak. Or an anal dildo, which is shorter than the regular one. These are also good ways for hubby to prepare you for what he has to offer, which hopefully will bring you the same amount of pleasure he gets from this sex act. Good luck and enjoy!

Fear of Assholes (No, really.)

Q: Help! My husband wants to have anal sex. I don't. I have to admit to being curious, but mostly the thought scares me because I think it would hurt. I know he watches it in adult movies and on the Internet. I'm afraid if I don't do it he will go elsewhere. What should I do?

Anne: My advice is simple: don't do anything you don't want to do sexually. If he doesn't like it, let him go somewhere else—he's not worth having around if he doesn't understand your wants and desires during sex as well as his own.

Dee: My first kick butt reaction (no pun intended) was to agree with Anne. You should not engage in sexual activity you are dead-set against, I don't care how much your partner wants you to. And I'd leave it there except for your statement I admit to being curious…

So here's where I differ from sis. If you truly are curious, find out more about it. Learn the proper way to go about the position. Find out about the oils and lubricants formulated to make the experience a pleasant one, and read about the sensations you might expect. Start small by experimenting with a butt plug to get used to the feeling of having something in that orifice. Have your husband manipulate a small anal dildo during regular sex. You might well find out your orgasms are greater and your time together more sensual.

The most important thing is that both your husband and you want to try anal sex and plan to bring enjoyment to the other. Make sure he knows and agrees to the proper health and pleasure techniques to use—and maybe a safe word letting him know to stop if you feel too uncomfortable. If he doesn't agree to all of that, he's the asshole in the situation (pun intended). Good luck!