Q: I realize this is going to make me sound like a shallow, insensitive person, but I'm embarrassed to be dating the man I am currently seeing. I'm a very, very high-profile, successful woman. If I told you where I live you would probably guess who I am, in fact. About three months ago I met a man in a bar I frequent when I'm feeling slummy. I usually find someone there to shack up with in a nearby no-tell motel for a night of hot sex. That night the man I met intrigued me from the very beginning. His humor, his good looks, his sexy smile swept me off my feet and I couldn't wait to get him naked and pounding into me—which happened less than 2 hours after our first double shot of Jim Beam. Thing is, one night with him hasn't been enough. Hell, all night fuck fests on 78 different occasions hasn't been enough. I can't get my fill of this guy. We always meet in a place I'm sure no one I know would be caught dead, and I sense he's getting a little tired of being hidden away. Here's my problem: he cleans out septic systems for a living. As soon as he starts speaking it's obvious he has little education—though he's very intelligent, in an earthy, practical kind of way. I like him, God knows I love his body and what the man does with his dick, but I can't see him in the normal way a man a woman date. I can't possibly bring him into the light of day. That might sound snobbish, but I can't help it. How can I keep him and still maintain my self respect?
Anne: Tell him exactly what you just told us and see if he agrees to be your boy toy. Don't be surprised if he tells you to fuc… uh, take a long walk off a short pier. I would.
Dee: Jeez, you have a real problem. Now, where is this bar you go? And I mean exact directions.
As far as how you keep this God of Fucking, I don't think you do. Send me exact directions to him, too.
Showing posts with label drinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drinking. Show all posts
Monday, February 28, 2011
Monday, July 27, 2009
Boathouse Virginity
Q: I'm a decent, church-going woman. I'm not young, but I haven't exactly hit middle age yet, either. I'm not married and am a little embarrassed to say I've never let a man get passed third base--and that was a long time ago. Until the company picnic a couple of weeks ago, that is. I was sitting off by the river minding my own business and drinking a Coke when a man (I'll call him Henry) joined me. He was drinking beer, and I could tell he'd had quite a few before he came to sit with me. I didn't mind--I've always liked Henry and thought he was handsome. We could hear the sounds of the softball game and the kids' races, but after we'd talked a few minutes, it all seemed far off. Then Henry kissed me, a deep kiss, and I felt something low in my stomach I'd never felt. Before I knew it, Henry had led me into the boathouse and we had sex. When we were there, I wanted it, really wanted it. But now, after two weeks, I don't know. Henry hardly speaks to me, a few people have stopped talking when I come into the room, and (worst of all) he's married, and to a very nice woman. What can I do? I ruined my reputation and good name all in one afternoon.
Anne: Unfortunately, having sex is not a bell you can unring. But take some heart in knowing you aren't the first woman--or the last--to have an encounter at a company function. It's probably not how you thought you might lose your virginity, but you know what? it's no reason to hang your head, either. I say act like nothing happened--Henry seems to be able to. Hold your head up. What happened is no reflection on your being a decent person. If you associate with decent people, they should see that.
Dee: Under normal circumstances, I'd say you were the one not drinking so you should have controlled things better. But the fact that you were pretty inexperienced (do they even say "get past third base' anymore??) means I'll give you a pass. I'm also going to assume you know for sure your little escapade didn't result in a baby. So let's just deal with the sexual side of things. Did you enjoy the sex? Is that what you regret or is it thinking other people know? Did Henry speak to you much before the picnic, or are you letting guilt color his actions now?
If you enjoyed fucking, then there's no reason why you shouldn't do it again. Not with married, sonuvabitch Henry, but with someone else. If marriage isn't what you're looking for, maybe you have a single friend who would like to become a FWB - Friend With Benefits. There's no reason to stay celibate in this day and age. Not that I'm recommending promiscuity, but a girl does have needs.
But, know what you're getting into. Make sure you're prepared with condoms in case the guy isn't, and take care not to get pregnant or contract an STD. Do not believe a man if he says he's had a vasectomy or that he's clean. Use protection at all times. Touch yourself. Order a vibrator online and find out what you like and what turns you on. Never agree to do anything you feel uncomfortable doing. On the other hand, there's more to life than the missionary position, so be open to new things.
You have nothing to feel bad about except maybe the wife. My advice: stay as far away from married men as possible. You fucked up once unexpectedly (pun intended), but you're asking for trouble if you let it happen again. Good luck!
Anne: Unfortunately, having sex is not a bell you can unring. But take some heart in knowing you aren't the first woman--or the last--to have an encounter at a company function. It's probably not how you thought you might lose your virginity, but you know what? it's no reason to hang your head, either. I say act like nothing happened--Henry seems to be able to. Hold your head up. What happened is no reflection on your being a decent person. If you associate with decent people, they should see that.
Dee: Under normal circumstances, I'd say you were the one not drinking so you should have controlled things better. But the fact that you were pretty inexperienced (do they even say "get past third base' anymore??) means I'll give you a pass. I'm also going to assume you know for sure your little escapade didn't result in a baby. So let's just deal with the sexual side of things. Did you enjoy the sex? Is that what you regret or is it thinking other people know? Did Henry speak to you much before the picnic, or are you letting guilt color his actions now?
If you enjoyed fucking, then there's no reason why you shouldn't do it again. Not with married, sonuvabitch Henry, but with someone else. If marriage isn't what you're looking for, maybe you have a single friend who would like to become a FWB - Friend With Benefits. There's no reason to stay celibate in this day and age. Not that I'm recommending promiscuity, but a girl does have needs.
But, know what you're getting into. Make sure you're prepared with condoms in case the guy isn't, and take care not to get pregnant or contract an STD. Do not believe a man if he says he's had a vasectomy or that he's clean. Use protection at all times. Touch yourself. Order a vibrator online and find out what you like and what turns you on. Never agree to do anything you feel uncomfortable doing. On the other hand, there's more to life than the missionary position, so be open to new things.
You have nothing to feel bad about except maybe the wife. My advice: stay as far away from married men as possible. You fucked up once unexpectedly (pun intended), but you're asking for trouble if you let it happen again. Good luck!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
My Girlfriend's Bother's Keeper
Q: My husband and I went to a party at my girlfriend's house. I almost had to drag him. We have been having some marital problems and I was trying to get him involved in my life... or at least to have a life. He doesn't do anything with me or my friends. I assured him the group would be small with only her close friends and family, so he agreed. When we got there, as I told him, it wasn't a large group, maybe 8 people, including us. Her brother, whom I'd never met, was one of the guests and he was there alone. My friend told me he had also been having some marital problems.
There was plenty of alcohol, and I had more than my share. Well, when her brother and I looked at each other across the room, it was as though he was sending an electric current to my animal side. I knew was going to be bad later on. And I was. I cornered him in the bathroom and began an attack that I think he liked. At least, he kept me in there a good long time. The problem is, my girlfriend found out... or I should say saw us. She retaliated and attacked my husband. It wasn't a big deal to me - marital problems, remember? But now he wants to go to all of her parties -- and she has quite a few. I think it's because he wants to do my best friend. I like to go to her parties but now I don't want to take him. I don't know if he knows about her brother and me. I'm afraid to bring it up.
So what do I do? Take him along or tell him he's not invited and leave him home?
Anne: You have marital problems. Here's an idea: stay home together. Talk, watch a movie, go for a walk--but do it together. Get to know each other again. It seems to me you have to do something like that if you want your marriage to work. Stay away from your friend's brother. And your friend, for that matter. She doesn't sound like she's a very good influence.
Dee: I have better advice than that. Write me offline and I'll try to get you all on The Jerry Springer Show.
There was plenty of alcohol, and I had more than my share. Well, when her brother and I looked at each other across the room, it was as though he was sending an electric current to my animal side. I knew was going to be bad later on. And I was. I cornered him in the bathroom and began an attack that I think he liked. At least, he kept me in there a good long time. The problem is, my girlfriend found out... or I should say saw us. She retaliated and attacked my husband. It wasn't a big deal to me - marital problems, remember? But now he wants to go to all of her parties -- and she has quite a few. I think it's because he wants to do my best friend. I like to go to her parties but now I don't want to take him. I don't know if he knows about her brother and me. I'm afraid to bring it up.
So what do I do? Take him along or tell him he's not invited and leave him home?
Anne: You have marital problems. Here's an idea: stay home together. Talk, watch a movie, go for a walk--but do it together. Get to know each other again. It seems to me you have to do something like that if you want your marriage to work. Stay away from your friend's brother. And your friend, for that matter. She doesn't sound like she's a very good influence.
Dee: I have better advice than that. Write me offline and I'll try to get you all on The Jerry Springer Show.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Jell-O Shot Hell
Q: My company has some killer parties. Technically they’re part of our quarterly meetings, but my bosses are kinda wild men and young, so they use any excuse to have a blowout.
Anyway, I couldn’t stay long at the first “meeting,” so I missed the party part. But I made up for it at the second—I’d never had Jell-O shots before. THEY ARE AWSOME.. I got a little polluted and when I drink I, um... get flirtatious (putting it mildly). I came on to a colleague. He isn't my boss, but he’s in enough of a position to make me REALLY WORRY. He’s not married or anything, and he turned me down, but still…. How do I handle this at work? I see him EVERY DAY! Help! I'm
In Jell-O Shot Hell
Anne: Let this be a lesson—alcohol and work do not mix! At your next quarterly meeting, drink tea, or coffee or even Tom Collins mix with a twist of lemon. No one will know the difference and you won’t embarrass yourself. For now, I’d say act as though nothing happened and hope he does the same. If he brings it up, apologize and swear that Jell-O shots are a thing of the past at office parties. If he’s a gentleman, the incident went (and will go) no farther.
Dee: Well, you little slut you. (And I mean that as a compliment.) Get a couple of Jell-O shots in you and you go, girl! So, okay, I say step back and think for a minute. You made a fool of yourself. If the man hasn’t done the same or worse a hundred times himself, he’s no man you want to waste yourself on. Let it go. It’s not like you stripped for him, played tonsil tag and rubbed The Girls against his broad, strong chest while unzipping his pants and begging his Bad Boy to come out and show you why he’s bad. No, it’s not like you did that. And, uh, *crossing fingers* not like I did that, either…
Anyway, I couldn’t stay long at the first “meeting,” so I missed the party part. But I made up for it at the second—I’d never had Jell-O shots before. THEY ARE AWSOME.. I got a little polluted and when I drink I, um... get flirtatious (putting it mildly). I came on to a colleague. He isn't my boss, but he’s in enough of a position to make me REALLY WORRY. He’s not married or anything, and he turned me down, but still…. How do I handle this at work? I see him EVERY DAY! Help! I'm
In Jell-O Shot Hell
Anne: Let this be a lesson—alcohol and work do not mix! At your next quarterly meeting, drink tea, or coffee or even Tom Collins mix with a twist of lemon. No one will know the difference and you won’t embarrass yourself. For now, I’d say act as though nothing happened and hope he does the same. If he brings it up, apologize and swear that Jell-O shots are a thing of the past at office parties. If he’s a gentleman, the incident went (and will go) no farther.
Dee: Well, you little slut you. (And I mean that as a compliment.) Get a couple of Jell-O shots in you and you go, girl! So, okay, I say step back and think for a minute. You made a fool of yourself. If the man hasn’t done the same or worse a hundred times himself, he’s no man you want to waste yourself on. Let it go. It’s not like you stripped for him, played tonsil tag and rubbed The Girls against his broad, strong chest while unzipping his pants and begging his Bad Boy to come out and show you why he’s bad. No, it’s not like you did that. And, uh, *crossing fingers* not like I did that, either…
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
