This Girl Wants SEX--In the Best Way or Worst

Q: My God! My girlfriend is demanding sex three and four times a day all of a sudden. I'm virile and my spirit is willing, but the flesh just can't take it. I can't study, I can't read or watch TV without her climbing on me and wanting my cock inside her. She even got her bush waxed! I asked her what she ate that made her like this—she used to be sweet and unassuming, giving me sex whenever I wanted it, but never initiating—and she got mad. Said if I couldn't give her what she needed, she'd find someone who could. I'm afraid to have the guys over to watch a ballgame for fear she might have a different "ball game" in mind. What the hell do I do??

Anne: Something has changed for this woman and I suggest you find out quickly what it is. She doesn't do drugs or anything, does she? Has she changed her friends? Taken a feminine empowerment class or something? You can't address the situation until you know the root cause, so look for that.

Dee: What the hell is wrong with you??? She has obviously discovered what you haven't pointed out to her yet: Women love sex, too. And not by being "sweet and unassuming," available at your beck and call. Someone has alerted her to her sexuality, and it wasn't you, Bud.

So. Your choices are what?

• You start taking vitamins and working out instead of sitting on your butt watching TV. That way maybe you'd be able to keep up with her.
• You call your friends over regularly and have sex with the girlfriend night. (Not recommended unless the two of you are into kinky stuff.)
• Make a trip to Adam and Eve.com and buy her some toys. That way she can satisfy herself. On those times you join in the fun, it will be even better for her. The remote control egg can bring a woman off in under a minute and it's always ready and willing. Or maybe try a nice rabbit that does the pussy and clit at the same time.
• Be imaginative, jerk, and find alternative ways to satisfy her when you're a little tired or have a headache. (Poor baby.) By that, I mean suck her off. Learn to be the world's greatest expert in cunnilingus, and she'll be yours forever.

There are a lot of guys out there who would love to have your problem, you know. A woman who wants to fuck all the time? A blessing, man, a blessing. And if you don't do something like what I've described above, one of them is going to end up with your girlfriend.

Old, Unexpected Friends

Q: A friend has popped up out of the blue after six years. Says she needs help but when I spoke with her on the phone she sound loopy—like she's on drugs. Turns out, she is on medications for some undefined illness. She has a project she wants me to work on, and she wants me to drop everything to do it. I have a full-time job and two part-time jobs just to keep my head above water. I'm willing to help, but on my time schedule, which she's unhappy about. Now she's bugging me with emails and phone calls. I almost feel stalked. What can I do?

Anne: Is her illness serious? If she's on meds you can't necessarily trust anything she's telling you. Advise her to get back to her doctor and call you again when her health problems—and the medications—are straightened out.

Dee: If she's a friend, I can see why it's hard to turn her away. But it also sounds as though you have enough on your plate. Tell her in no uncertain terms that she needs to keep with her doctor. Also tell her that you have other things to do and that her project has to take its place in your schedule. It might be hard to do since she's obviously not quite the person you remember, but tell her that if she doesn't give you time to work as you need to, that you won't be able to do anything for her at all. I'm not saying to tell her to fuck off, but after this many years, her problem is not your problem—unless you let it be. Good luck!

Coupon Book Valentine Gift

Q: Every year my husband gives me flowers or candy for Valentine's Day. I don't mean to imply that things have gotten boring between us sexually. Or maybe I do. This year—our seventh married Valentine's Day—I want something to shake things up. What are your suggestions?

Anne: A romantic weekend retreat. No matter where you live there is someplace you can go to be alone for a day or two. Give him an IOU coupon book. With a daily coupon for a week, you agree to give him something he wants: a back rub, his favorite meal, relief from taking out the trash, and so on. That would be very different, I'll bet.

Dee: The coupon book is a good idea. Here are some ideas for each day: a blow job; surprise him by wearing no underwear when you go out; use a vibrator on yourself in front of him; go out to dinner wearing an egg—and give him the remote; buy and wear some sexy lingerie; send the kids to mom's and rent an adult movie—then act out a scene; arrange to "meet" in a bar or restaurant and pick each other up as though you were strangers. Or, you could probably promise to give head every night and I'm sure he'd be happy. If that doesn't shake things up, find a good lawyer because honey, something's up the creek.

Vibrators 101

Q: What's the difference in vibrators? Are the biggest ones the best?

Anne: Having never used a vibrator, I'm afraid I can't help you. I'm sure there are sites online that will describe the various models.

Dee: Unlike Sis, I've used many different vibrators. The biggest is not necessarily the best, I can tell you that. Make sure you find a size and style that suits you. The largest unit might hurt or not fit comfortably unless you lubricate it well. Wherever you buy the unit will also sell lube, so don't forget it. Also remember to buy something specifically designed to clean your unit—different styles use different cleaners.

You'll get lots of information from my favorite sex toy site, Adam and Eve. Right now they're featuring a G-spot vibrator, and they offer a picture explanation of where the G-spot is. But they also sell large and smaller vibrators with a skin-like covering, glass units that can be chilled and warmed before use (chilling gives a whole new exciting sensation), eggs that vibrate (all I can say is, wow!), and rabbit styles, some made of gel that I don't particularly find comfortable, but they also feature an additional appendage that vibrates the clitoris while the main part stimulates the vagina. Pussy and clit stimulation together can't be beat!

But, it all comes down to what you find comfortable. Browse Adam and Eve and other sites, read the reviews, and then pick something to try. There is no right or wrong unless what you try doesn't feel good.

The Eggs of Easter

Q: This is embarrassing to talk about, but I need advice. My boyfriend gave me an egg for Easter. To tell the truth, I don't have the faintest idea of what to do with it. Help!!

Anne: Is it a colored egg? We always used to eat them… Or is it one of those blown out, decorative eggs? They're pretty. If it falls outside those realms. I don't know, either.

Dee: Lucky you! The last egg I got from Adam and Eve sends me into orbit after only a few seconds of use. So here are a few suggestions. If it's remote controlled, plan an evening out. Dress up. Insert the egg, right about at your G-spot and make sure you hold it there—maybe with a thong if you wear them or by keeping your thighs tight, which actually increases the pleasure. Then present your boyfriend with the controller. Believe me, he will surprise you lots during your evening. and at the most delicious times. You will get a thrill and so will he, watching your reaction.

Or let him have control while you're in bed. Let him tease your pussy and clit. I'll bet that when you're good and wet he'll finish the job of bringing you to orgasm himself.

Last, the egg is great for those horny moments alone. Use your wildest fantasy and touch the vibrating egg to your clit. In no time at all you'll be smiling. The egg is one of my very favorite sex toys! Hope you enjoy yours as much.

Anne: Good heavens!

Sex Toys with Discretion?

Q: I want to surprise my husband with something new and different. There is a sex toy store next to a truck stop on the edge of town, but I'm afraid to go in there. What is someone sees me? I know I can order online, but I'd like to see whatever I buy in person. I know next to nothing. Discretion is really important…I'm the Methodist minister's wife.

Anne: I understand your need for discretion, so I would advise not going to the store. You never know who's watching. Take a good look online. Read the reviews and comments. I think some of them also have a place where you can write and ask questions, so you might want to use that. If it's too hard, maybe you should plan to go away for a few days instead of trying to buy something?

Dee: Congratulations on wanting to add some spice to your marriage. If more people did that, fewer marriages would fail.

This is what you do: check out adamandeve.com or one of the other sex toy sites. Then Google the toy that interests you and see if your questions are answered. Start with something simple that would interest you both--maybe a dildo or an egg with a remote control. Read reviews/comments. Call the store near you if you don't want to go there. I'm sure they will be glad to answer questions.

If you do find a day or two to get away, try to make it someplace special and romantic like Sybaris, or a nice B&B.

Good luck!

Need More Than Blowing

Q: My husband wants oral sex all the time. I like it okay, but what's in it for me? Any hints?

Anne: This really isn't my area. Ask him to reciprocate? Dee, help!

Dee: Ever tried a 69? There's plenty to appreciate in that particular position, for both of you. Find a way to suck him so he can finger you. Try a magic egg while you're giving head. In other words, use a little imagination, woman!!! For a woman, the most erogenous zone is the brain. Put yours to use, and then maybe your mouth will be more ready to be put to use, too.

Birthday in Buffalo

Q: Last year I gave my girlfriend a sexy nightgown for her birthday and received a lecture on how I buy things for me instead of for her, whatever that means. Women's logic makes no sense to me. Anyway, she didn't wear the nightgown for a good long time but when she did, she was smokin' and we had the greatest sex we'd had in months. I want that again, so I found another, tiny little scrap of a nightgown and bought it, even though it set me back a week's salary. The thing is, I don't want another lecture or any more backward philosophy about how I don't care about her wants and needs. I satisfied her needs pretty damn well when she finally gave in and wore what I gave her. Any advice?

Anne: First off, what your girlfriend meant was that you bought the nightgown because you wanted to see her in it, not because you thought she would like to wear it. Women want a man to think of them and their wants and needs, not the man's. Maybe she would like something not quite so sexy, something she would be comfortable in, not just sexy in. Buying something that suits her desires shows you're thinking of her and not just yourself. Even if you did have a good night when she wore the gown, she still knows your mind focused on what you wanted to see her wearing, not what she wanted to wear. It's a fine distinction, but if you put your mind to it I'm sure you will understand.

I wish you hadn't already bought the nightgown this year--which, by the way means you didn't listen very well last year--but since you have, I'd say combine it with something else, something you know she wants. Maybe jewelry or flowers or a special perfume she has mentioned? Next year, perhaps you should ask her for suggestions. Let her buy the sexy gown to surprise you on your birthday.

Dee: Yeah, you should try to give her something she wants and not just what you want. But you want sex and if she's still with you, so does she. I'd say kick it up a notch, but not as a birthday gift, as an adjunct gift. Start off with some mind-blowing foreplay and then present her with the gown.

For that mind-blowing foreplay, take a look at Adam and Eve for a few suggestions. Try an egg vibrator--small but powerful. Or a G-spot stimulator--sure to bring pleasure. Or how about a finger vibrator? That way you're a part of the action. Once you have her interest, present her with the nightie to enhance what you've already started. The problem last year is, you wanted her to wear the nightgown as your foreplay, and she wants more than your cock growing hard, she wants some excitement, too.


Or maybe give her a nightgown as part of a romantic weekend away, like at Sybaris or someplace near you that specializes in dark corners and quiet rooms. The trick here is combining the sex with romance.

True, it's better to give the birthday person something they want. But flowers die, candy is cliché, and jewelry should be saved for when you really need to make-up. A finger vibrator lasts a long time past the birthday and it's a team sport. When she kicks your sorry ass out, it's the gift that keeps on giving when she's alone, too. What more can a woman ask for?

Needs a Break From Sex

Q: This might seem like a strange question, but I’m a normal, healthy male who likes sex. However, my girlfriend really likes sex. She wants it all the time, in all kinds of ways, in all kinds of places. I’m a guy, not a sex object or a machine. What should I do?

Anne: Don’t feel bad about asking the question. I imagine there are many men reading this who have the same concerns. Listen, sex is a very important part of any relationship and something people must be compatible on. Talk to your girlfriend and tell her you’re uncomfortable with her excessive appetite for sex. If you two can’t find a meeting ground on this subject, I fear you’re heading for trouble in the long run.

Dee: Hmmm. Let me get this straight. You are a guy (I’ll take your word on it, I suppose). Your girlfriend likes to have more sex than you do (I’m still taking your word that you’re a guy). And, the little minx likes it different ways and locations and all the time, which makes you uncomfortable. You sure you’re a guy? Please send us the address of your girlfriend because I’m sure there are a gazillion other guys who’d be happy to get to know her and thus resolve your issue.

By the way, have you tried anything new and different in your sex life lately? A little doggy action, a bit of panty rubbing under the table at the restaurant? Maybe a remote-controlled egg when you’re out for the evening?

I’d advise the two of you to browse a few virtual pages of adamandeve.com and see if anything strikes your fancy. Maybe her desire to spice up the relationship is just that, a need to shake things up a bit. All I know is, if you don’t do something to satisfy this woman, you not only won’t be a sex machine, you’ll be nobody’s sex object. I mean, just saying.