Q: I gave my husband a valentine that was funny and kind of neutral, and not all mushy and lovey-dovey. Now he says we must be having trouble and thinks we need some time apart. All from a valentine. What the hell am I supposed to do now?
Anne: Sit his rear end down and talk to him. He owes you a reason why he went overboard about a Hallmark card.
Dee: Go on a shopping spree and buy the sexiest lingerie you can find. Then go online with Adam and Eve and make sure he sees you buying the biggest dildo in the catalogue. Or maybe some ben wa balls, hmmm? Book a weekend at Sybaris (or somewhere comparable). Then—after he's seen all of this—let him know that you agree. Maybe it is time to have a little space. If he admits to being a numbskull, use all your new purchases—with him. If he's stubborn and insists he's right, that you are trying to "tell him" something with a funny valentine, then I'd say he's hiding something. Maybe he wants time away for reasons of his own. In which case, you will be all prepared for a fucking good weekend wit someone new. Don't waste it.
Showing posts with label Sybaris. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sybaris. Show all posts
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Monday, December 20, 2010
Appreciating Each and Every Minute
Q: Last week, when coming out of the grocery store, I stopped to help an elderly man lift his groceries in the trunk of his car. He started talking and I couldn't help but listen as he explained that his wife of 48 years had recently died. He said he hadn't been the best of husband's but that came home to him when going through his wife's things. Back in the closet he found a box. Inside, a dress was neatly folded. He didn't remember the dress, he said, or even the date written on a yellowed sheet of paper laying on top. "December 20, 1959. I wore this dress to the Sanford Christmas part and David said I looked beautiful." With tears shimmering in his eyes, he told me he didn't remember telling his wife that she was beautiful. In fact, he was sure he hadn't paid her enough loving attention for most of their marriage, and now he regretted that every day. I can't get the man out of my mind. I've tried to think of the last time my husband told me I was beautiful or when I last complimented him. How can I get it across that our time on Earth is finite, and we should appreciate every second with the ones we love?
Anne: What a touching and beautiful story. Of course, you can always tell him you love him, but what about finding new ways to say it? Cook or bake something he loves once a week. Tuck notes in his lunch that let him know you're thinking of him. Plan a day to do whatever he wants—even if it's nothing, or watching a ballgame on TV. Hold his hand. Smile. Flirt. I hope whatever you do works.
Dee: Well, of course I also thought of doing things he likes but my mind ran in a different direction. Fix a dinner he likes—and include an aphrodisiac, like oysters or chocolate. Plan an evening out to somewhere he wants to go—and let him know you're not wearing panties. Hold his hand—and when you're in a private spot (or semi-private?), place it over your breast. Or put your hand over his cock beneath the drape of a tablecloth. Give him a blowjob when he's least expecting it. Buy something new and special at Adam and Eve, or if you're able, plan a weekend to a Sybaris resort. Telling him that you should appreciate your time together is always more special with a little fucking to frost the cake. Have fun getting your message across!
Anne: What a touching and beautiful story. Of course, you can always tell him you love him, but what about finding new ways to say it? Cook or bake something he loves once a week. Tuck notes in his lunch that let him know you're thinking of him. Plan a day to do whatever he wants—even if it's nothing, or watching a ballgame on TV. Hold his hand. Smile. Flirt. I hope whatever you do works.
Dee: Well, of course I also thought of doing things he likes but my mind ran in a different direction. Fix a dinner he likes—and include an aphrodisiac, like oysters or chocolate. Plan an evening out to somewhere he wants to go—and let him know you're not wearing panties. Hold his hand—and when you're in a private spot (or semi-private?), place it over your breast. Or put your hand over his cock beneath the drape of a tablecloth. Give him a blowjob when he's least expecting it. Buy something new and special at Adam and Eve, or if you're able, plan a weekend to a Sybaris resort. Telling him that you should appreciate your time together is always more special with a little fucking to frost the cake. Have fun getting your message across!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Sex Toys with Discretion?
Q: I want to surprise my husband with something new and different. There is a sex toy store next to a truck stop on the edge of town, but I'm afraid to go in there. What is someone sees me? I know I can order online, but I'd like to see whatever I buy in person. I know next to nothing. Discretion is really important…I'm the Methodist minister's wife.
Anne: I understand your need for discretion, so I would advise not going to the store. You never know who's watching. Take a good look online. Read the reviews and comments. I think some of them also have a place where you can write and ask questions, so you might want to use that. If it's too hard, maybe you should plan to go away for a few days instead of trying to buy something?
Dee: Congratulations on wanting to add some spice to your marriage. If more people did that, fewer marriages would fail.
This is what you do: check out adamandeve.com or one of the other sex toy sites. Then Google the toy that interests you and see if your questions are answered. Start with something simple that would interest you both--maybe a dildo or an egg with a remote control. Read reviews/comments. Call the store near you if you don't want to go there. I'm sure they will be glad to answer questions.
If you do find a day or two to get away, try to make it someplace special and romantic like Sybaris, or a nice B&B.
Good luck!
Anne: I understand your need for discretion, so I would advise not going to the store. You never know who's watching. Take a good look online. Read the reviews and comments. I think some of them also have a place where you can write and ask questions, so you might want to use that. If it's too hard, maybe you should plan to go away for a few days instead of trying to buy something?
Dee: Congratulations on wanting to add some spice to your marriage. If more people did that, fewer marriages would fail.
This is what you do: check out adamandeve.com or one of the other sex toy sites. Then Google the toy that interests you and see if your questions are answered. Start with something simple that would interest you both--maybe a dildo or an egg with a remote control. Read reviews/comments. Call the store near you if you don't want to go there. I'm sure they will be glad to answer questions.
If you do find a day or two to get away, try to make it someplace special and romantic like Sybaris, or a nice B&B.
Good luck!
Monday, May 31, 2010
52" Anniversary Boondoggle
Q: My husband wants to buy a 52-inch-screen TV with all the bells and whistles for our anniversary. That will run around $2,500. I want to celebrate our 10-year anniversary with a week's trip to a romantic location. He won't budge. What does that say about how he feels for me?
Anne: Nothing. It says he wants a big TV. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you. If that's the only reason you think he cares little for you, step back and take a deep breath. Maybe he just doesn't like to travel…?
Dee: Give the poor bastard a break. So he likes to watch sports (or whatever) on a huge screen. Instead of arguing the point, use the TV in other ways. Invest in a few well-chosen adult films. Hubby will pant over Asia Carrera and you can swoon over seeing all of Evan Stone in 52" HD. Compromise with a weekend away someplace closer to home, Sybaris in Chicago-land or some Sybaris-like place near you. Add a couple of favorite sex toys, and the big TV purchase will seem like a treat instead of a lost argument.
Anne and I would like to thank all our men and women currently serving in the military or who have served in the past. Have a safe and happy Memorial Day.
Anne: Nothing. It says he wants a big TV. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you. If that's the only reason you think he cares little for you, step back and take a deep breath. Maybe he just doesn't like to travel…?
Dee: Give the poor bastard a break. So he likes to watch sports (or whatever) on a huge screen. Instead of arguing the point, use the TV in other ways. Invest in a few well-chosen adult films. Hubby will pant over Asia Carrera and you can swoon over seeing all of Evan Stone in 52" HD. Compromise with a weekend away someplace closer to home, Sybaris in Chicago-land or some Sybaris-like place near you. Add a couple of favorite sex toys, and the big TV purchase will seem like a treat instead of a lost argument.
Anne and I would like to thank all our men and women currently serving in the military or who have served in the past. Have a safe and happy Memorial Day.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Birthday in Buffalo
Q: Last year I gave my girlfriend a sexy nightgown for her birthday and received a lecture on how I buy things for me instead of for her, whatever that means. Women's logic makes no sense to me. Anyway, she didn't wear the nightgown for a good long time but when she did, she was smokin' and we had the greatest sex we'd had in months. I want that again, so I found another, tiny little scrap of a nightgown and bought it, even though it set me back a week's salary. The thing is, I don't want another lecture or any more backward philosophy about how I don't care about her wants and needs. I satisfied her needs pretty damn well when she finally gave in and wore what I gave her. Any advice?
Anne: First off, what your girlfriend meant was that you bought the nightgown because you wanted to see her in it, not because you thought she would like to wear it. Women want a man to think of them and their wants and needs, not the man's. Maybe she would like something not quite so sexy, something she would be comfortable in, not just sexy in. Buying something that suits her desires shows you're thinking of her and not just yourself. Even if you did have a good night when she wore the gown, she still knows your mind focused on what you wanted to see her wearing, not what she wanted to wear. It's a fine distinction, but if you put your mind to it I'm sure you will understand.
I wish you hadn't already bought the nightgown this year--which, by the way means you didn't listen very well last year--but since you have, I'd say combine it with something else, something you know she wants. Maybe jewelry or flowers or a special perfume she has mentioned? Next year, perhaps you should ask her for suggestions. Let her buy the sexy gown to surprise you on your birthday.
Dee: Yeah, you should try to give her something she wants and not just what you want. But you want sex and if she's still with you, so does she. I'd say kick it up a notch, but not as a birthday gift, as an adjunct gift. Start off with some mind-blowing foreplay and then present her with the gown.
For that mind-blowing foreplay, take a look at Adam and Eve for a few suggestions. Try an egg vibrator--small but powerful. Or a G-spot stimulator--sure to bring pleasure. Or how about a finger vibrator? That way you're a part of the action. Once you have her interest, present her with the nightie to enhance what you've already started. The problem last year is, you wanted her to wear the nightgown as your foreplay, and she wants more than your cock growing hard, she wants some excitement, too.
Or maybe give her a nightgown as part of a romantic weekend away, like at Sybaris or someplace near you that specializes in dark corners and quiet rooms. The trick here is combining the sex with romance.
True, it's better to give the birthday person something they want. But flowers die, candy is cliché, and jewelry should be saved for when you really need to make-up. A finger vibrator lasts a long time past the birthday and it's a team sport. When she kicks your sorry ass out, it's the gift that keeps on giving when she's alone, too. What more can a woman ask for?
Anne: First off, what your girlfriend meant was that you bought the nightgown because you wanted to see her in it, not because you thought she would like to wear it. Women want a man to think of them and their wants and needs, not the man's. Maybe she would like something not quite so sexy, something she would be comfortable in, not just sexy in. Buying something that suits her desires shows you're thinking of her and not just yourself. Even if you did have a good night when she wore the gown, she still knows your mind focused on what you wanted to see her wearing, not what she wanted to wear. It's a fine distinction, but if you put your mind to it I'm sure you will understand.
I wish you hadn't already bought the nightgown this year--which, by the way means you didn't listen very well last year--but since you have, I'd say combine it with something else, something you know she wants. Maybe jewelry or flowers or a special perfume she has mentioned? Next year, perhaps you should ask her for suggestions. Let her buy the sexy gown to surprise you on your birthday.
Dee: Yeah, you should try to give her something she wants and not just what you want. But you want sex and if she's still with you, so does she. I'd say kick it up a notch, but not as a birthday gift, as an adjunct gift. Start off with some mind-blowing foreplay and then present her with the gown.
For that mind-blowing foreplay, take a look at Adam and Eve for a few suggestions. Try an egg vibrator--small but powerful. Or a G-spot stimulator--sure to bring pleasure. Or how about a finger vibrator? That way you're a part of the action. Once you have her interest, present her with the nightie to enhance what you've already started. The problem last year is, you wanted her to wear the nightgown as your foreplay, and she wants more than your cock growing hard, she wants some excitement, too.
Or maybe give her a nightgown as part of a romantic weekend away, like at Sybaris or someplace near you that specializes in dark corners and quiet rooms. The trick here is combining the sex with romance.
True, it's better to give the birthday person something they want. But flowers die, candy is cliché, and jewelry should be saved for when you really need to make-up. A finger vibrator lasts a long time past the birthday and it's a team sport. When she kicks your sorry ass out, it's the gift that keeps on giving when she's alone, too. What more can a woman ask for?
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Pans Rather Than Pan-ties in Massachusetts
Q: My husband and I have been married for twelve wonderful years. We have two active children and hectic careers. Our problem is a common one, I think. For our anniversary, he always buys me sexy lingerie. Not necessarily negligees, but panties, bras and tap pants sets. Each year I tell him I’d rather have something I can use—at this point, even a vacuum cleaner would be preferable to lacy panties. Each year it’s as if he was deaf the previous year. Our thirteenth anniversary is in a month. I don’t want to be harsh but believe me, I already have a drawer full of lingerie I don’t wear. Maybe if you all back me he’ll sit up and pay attention.
Anne: I don’t understand men—and you’re right, this is a common problem. Often, men give women the gifts they want, rather than what women want. I suggest you cook him a great meal one night and point out which pots and pans you used, then show him your drawer of unused lingerie. Tell him with a pan you can remember your special date every time you roast, or fry or whatever it is you want to receive. Another alternative is to buy a pot you really want and tell him ahead of time that you bought your gift from him. (WARNING: This may be an undesired slippery slope to always having to buy your own gifts, depending on your guy's temperament.) As a last note, it doesn’t hurt to do something romantic now and then. Maybe slip into one of those other gifts and see the light in his eyes.
Dee: Let’s turn the tables. Does he always adore everything you get him? Look, it’s your anniversary. The man surely doesn’t expect you to dress up for him every night, so indulge him this one night, which is supposed to be a remembrance of that first-love feeling. Maybe it would be easier if you got away from the “two active kids” and spent a some time alone. Here in Chicago-land we have Sybaris Pool Suites which cater to couples seeking romance. But even a night at your local Holiday Inn Express would be a break. My advice? Have dinner out. Feed each other spoonfuls of luscious dessert. Then go home—or to your room at an inn—and dress up. Put on whatever sexy thing he bought this year. Surprise him with an elephant cock cover and then, Lady, make him roar with delight. That’s the recipe to a happy anniversary.
Oh, Jackkk! Do you have the number for Sybaris handy…?
Anne: I don’t understand men—and you’re right, this is a common problem. Often, men give women the gifts they want, rather than what women want. I suggest you cook him a great meal one night and point out which pots and pans you used, then show him your drawer of unused lingerie. Tell him with a pan you can remember your special date every time you roast, or fry or whatever it is you want to receive. Another alternative is to buy a pot you really want and tell him ahead of time that you bought your gift from him. (WARNING: This may be an undesired slippery slope to always having to buy your own gifts, depending on your guy's temperament.) As a last note, it doesn’t hurt to do something romantic now and then. Maybe slip into one of those other gifts and see the light in his eyes.
Dee: Let’s turn the tables. Does he always adore everything you get him? Look, it’s your anniversary. The man surely doesn’t expect you to dress up for him every night, so indulge him this one night, which is supposed to be a remembrance of that first-love feeling. Maybe it would be easier if you got away from the “two active kids” and spent a some time alone. Here in Chicago-land we have Sybaris Pool Suites which cater to couples seeking romance. But even a night at your local Holiday Inn Express would be a break. My advice? Have dinner out. Feed each other spoonfuls of luscious dessert. Then go home—or to your room at an inn—and dress up. Put on whatever sexy thing he bought this year. Surprise him with an elephant cock cover and then, Lady, make him roar with delight. That’s the recipe to a happy anniversary.
Oh, Jackkk! Do you have the number for Sybaris handy…?
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