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Sunday, July 25, 2010

Sex Toys with Discretion?

Q: I want to surprise my husband with something new and different. There is a sex toy store next to a truck stop on the edge of town, but I'm afraid to go in there. What is someone sees me? I know I can order online, but I'd like to see whatever I buy in person. I know next to nothing. Discretion is really important…I'm the Methodist minister's wife.

Anne: I understand your need for discretion, so I would advise not going to the store. You never know who's watching. Take a good look online. Read the reviews and comments. I think some of them also have a place where you can write and ask questions, so you might want to use that. If it's too hard, maybe you should plan to go away for a few days instead of trying to buy something?

Dee: Congratulations on wanting to add some spice to your marriage. If more people did that, fewer marriages would fail.

This is what you do: check out adamandeve.com or one of the other sex toy sites. Then Google the toy that interests you and see if your questions are answered. Start with something simple that would interest you both--maybe a dildo or an egg with a remote control. Read reviews/comments. Call the store near you if you don't want to go there. I'm sure they will be glad to answer questions.

If you do find a day or two to get away, try to make it someplace special and romantic like Sybaris, or a nice B&B.

Good luck!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Hungry (Rude) Man

Q: Last week, my husband and I went out to dinner with some friends to a buffet type restaurant. Her husband hurried ahead of us, got his food, and went to a table. He said he wanted to be sure we had a "nice" place to sit. Of course, we ended up paying for his meal. Then, we went to their house for dinner this past weekend and darn if he didn't fix his plate before we all could even sit down. He acts like there won't be enough food. I know this embarrasses my friend but she doesn't say anything. Should I?

Anne: If his wife doesn't say anything you shouldn't either. When you're in their house, take a deep breath and know this is how he is. If it really bothers you a lot, mention to your friend that you would prefer to go Dutch when you dine out.

Dee: When you go to a cafeteria, make sure his wife is right behind him in line, and when you get to the cashier let her know the bills are separate. When you eat at home, screw him. Who cares who piles the food on the plate first? You might consider it rude, but get over it if you want to keep your friendship.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Stripping Away the Boredom

Q: I need a change and have been thinking about stripping. Any idea of how to go about it?

Anne: Actually, I think a lot of fitness centers and YWCAs have classes now in pole dancing. I understand (not from personal experience) that stripping is a lot harder and a lot more than just standing on stage and swiveling your hips. There's an art to it.

Dee: Check strip clubs in your area and see if any of the woman there can give you ideas or tips. Check online. Here's a site I saw that has a bit of information:

Make sure even if you have the body for stripping that you also have the temperament. It can be a lucrative business, so good luck.

Monday, July 5, 2010

4th of July "Fireworks"

Q: My boyfriend and I have been going together for two years. He's a lot of fun, very smart and the sex is great. We had plans to attend a 4th of July concert and last week Mark said he wanted to have sex in public, at the concert. Now this is in our city's park. It will be jammed with people listening to music and watching fireworks over the lake. I told him I thought he was crazy. but he's serious. He said he was getting a little bored – who knew that?? – and needed this to put a bit of excitement in our relationship. I thought everything was just fine and I'm very uncomfortable. When I protested, he went home mad, and now I'm not sure what to do. I think he means this as a deal breaker after two years.

Anne: When it comes to sex you should never do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Ask him why he thinks the sex has gone stale and try to fix it—if you stil want to be with Mark—but don't be forced into doing something you don't want to do.

Dee: To paraphrase Anne, don't do anything that can get you landed in jail. Public sex is a legal problem. And yeah, its' true that if you feel dead set against public sex, don't do it. If that means no more Mark, so be it.

However, I understand his request. Fucking in public—and I mean fucking, not making love—is a pretty heady thing (no pun intended) to do in situations where you can be caught. It adds a sense of urgency, passion and danger that increases the tension exponentially. Pull a blanket over you and start with a little fingering. Fondling and touching, skin to skin, is a thrill with someone else a few feet away. I wouldn't recommend doing this right down in the front row, but find a fairly quiet place in back. Then try going all the way in such a way as not to be too obvious (remember the slammer could await). You might be surprised at the fireworks it sets off in your pussy.