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Monday, December 26, 2011

Merry Christmas - Happy New Year!

Wishing you and yours the happiest of holidays and a safe and blessed New Year!!

We will be back in 2012--good heavens, where did 2011 go?

With much love,
Dee and Anne

Monday, December 19, 2011

Christmas Gifts to the Boyfriend's Mother

Q: My boyfriend's mother has given me a Christmas present for each of the three years we've been dating. I never know what to get her in return. I'm in my senior year of college and don't have a lot of money, but I hate not to reciprocate in some way. Any ideas?

Anne: If she's a real lady, she will appreciate most anything you give her. Does she have a favorite flower? You can often find reasonable prices on flowers. I gave my boyfriend's mother beautiful paperweights or small pewter figures. Ask your boyfriend what she likes.

Dee: Give her the gift she really wants, which is to be nice to her son, respectful to her and not to get preggo before any possible marriage. Dust collectors are nice and required now and then, but keep the main gifts in mind, girlie.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Holiay Weight Gain

Q: Every single year I am surrounded by baked goods and other yummies during the holidays. And every year I gain weight. What can I do to avoid nibbling on all this food?

Anne: Make a formal request that food be brought to a central place—maybe the break room—instead of having them everywhere, then limit how often you go into the break room. Make a formal request that healthy food be part of the mix. Munching on carrots or fruit is much better for you than baked goods and you still feel that you're enjoying snacks. Make a formal request that bringing in food be limited to one or two days a week. There are other suggestions, but try these and see if you get results.

Dee: Look, the holidays come once a year. Indulge! Exercise and restrict your diet during the other 40-45 weeks of the year. If you're looking for other ways you can snack and keep down your waistline, find new methods to burn calorie. Do you know that you can burn up to 321 calories by engaging in 15 minutes of foreplay and 35 minutes of fucking? A 1-inch brownie has less than 38 calories; a 1-inch chocolate chip cookie has fewer than 70 calories. So give me a break. Eat!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Choosing Children in Cinnci

Q: I've been engaged for four years to a fabulous woman. The trouble is, she doesn't want kids. I kept thinking she would come around, but after two years of dating and four years of planning to marry, she hasn't. We're both in our late twenties and have great, professional jobs. Money isn't a problem, security isn't an issue. We have wonderful families with great role models. I love this woman. What should I do?

Anne: If this is a deal breaker, you have little choice. Either you give up your dream of a family, marry her anyway and hope the biological clock kicks in, or you give up the girl and start looking for someone who does want a family. Only you can decide how important it is for you to have children, and only you can decide what to do about it.

Dee: You are adults and you've been engaged for four years?? Holy shit. I sure hope you've been having sex during all this time. Which brings up another question. Your fiancĂ©e does know how babies are made, right? She knows how much fun it is and all? If not, you're not doing your job very well. Screw her silly several times a week and who knows? Fate might turn in your direction. Remember, the only truly 100% reliable birth control is an aspirin—held tightly between the knees. With any other method, it's a crap shoot. The more you fuck, the more the odds are in your favor. It's also good for weight control…