Holiday Stress

Q: Any ideas on how to minimize stress during the holiday season? Each year I get more and more hyper, starting with the shopping rush the day after Thanksgiving to the point I practically crash after New Year's.

Anne: Plan more special family and friend times where you can be casual and unhurried. Then determine that you will remain casual and unhurried. Agree to fewer gifts. Shop during the year for inexpensive present you might give teachers, mailmen, etc. so they will be ready far in advance. Cook ahead early in the fall and freeze some of the food you would normally prepare during the season. Anything you buy ahead, wrap ahead, too. (Be sure to label so you don't have to unwrap to discover what the gift is. I'm speaking from experience here.)

Dee: You know what I'm going to suggest as a stress reliever. Sex every day, maybe more than once a day. Screwing will not only relieve stress, it'll help keep those pesky holiday pounds off. Nothing says Happy Holidays like a good fuck.

I say look for sales and give everyone that same item. Boxes of fruit, socks, cases of motor oil--whatever. Everyone needs one of those things at some point. A lot of places online will wrap and send an item so you don't even have to deal with it personally. I like those. Or on a more serious note, gift cards are easy to buy, easy to give and appreciated. What I will say is don't try to give something time-consuming after July. For instance, don't try to knit a sweater for your sister in November. Talk about stress… Anne, I hope you'll like your gift card to Denny's.

In-laws Thanksgiving...Again

Q: Oh goody, another Thanksgiving at my in-laws. My wife is the only girl in a family of five boys, so we get roped into spending the holiday there every year so she can help her mom. We live a mere hundred miles away, but the brothers all live closer by more than half the distance. Mind you, the daughters-in-law (there are four of them) don't have to show up every year, or go early to help prepare. By the end of the day, my wife is frazzled, exhausted and cranky. You know what that means: no sex for me that night, something for which I'd be very grateful. Her mom goes crazy over family holidays, so my wife can't find a way to tell her mom she doesn't want to keep on doing this. I'm just sick and tired of having my Thanksgiving being the only thing getting fucked. What's a man to do?

Anne: Gosh, seems like every year we have several letters about holidays and families. Your problem is not uncommon. Try talking to your father-in-law and see if he's any help. Or talk to your mother-in-law if you have good rapport with her. Invite everyone to your house one year, or suggest a family holiday but at a good restaurant. A lot of places prepare holiday dinners to pick up. Suggest you bring in dinner, which will greatly minimize the prep time, leaving your wife with more energy for bedtime pleasures.

Dee: May I ask, what the hell is wrong with you doing something to alleviate the problem? If your wife really doesn't want to keep being cook and chief bottle washer but she doesn't want to disappoint her mom, grow a pair and take matters into your own hands. Make vacation reservations somewhere and let the family know that there will be two fewer at the table next Thanksgiving. Your wife shouldn't be the bad cop here--this is her mother. Be an alpha guy and take charge. Treat her and yourself at the same time.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Adding a Little Weight to the Argument

Q: My fifteen-year-old daughter is very overweight. I've tried everything I can do to make her lose weight--I've used shame, encouragement and downright bribery--but it does no good. I'm a single father (widowed) who feels he's done a pretty good job in general, but on this one issue only, I wish her mom and I hadn't split. Suggestions, please?

Anne: I sympathize with your dilemma. Here are a few things I might try: enlist the help of a lady friend whom your daughter knows and likes; if she likes cooking, introduce her to books like Cook Yourself Slim or Hasty Tasty Meals by our friend Cheryl Norman, and help her see that lower fat and calorie dishes can taste wonderful; set a good example yourself by not eating fatty and high calorie foods (make sure foods like that are out of the house); or spend father-daughter time doing something active together like taking a walk after dinner or team tennis or swimming. Make sure she knows that you think she's beautiful no matter how she looks but upon her impress your concern for her self-esteem and health. Good luck to both of you.

Dee: Anne gave all good suggestions. I know also there are weight-loss camps where she would receive counseling and learn better eating habits with other kids who have the same problem. If you have some extra cash, investigate a spa--same concept but with a more acceptable name for a teenage girl. Did you have a weight problem as a teen? If so, share your story. If you have a weight problem now, buck up and get with it so your daughter can see you mean "do what I do, not just what I say."

BYW, I liked the little back-handed slap you gave your ex: "… on this one issue only, I wish her mom and I hadn't split." Good one, Pop.