Hubba-hubba Husband

Q: My husband wants to learn to strip. My husband!!! He says there's a good amount of money to be made fr male strippers, not only at clubs (yes, there's a male strip club nearby), but for parties and such. He's good looking and stays in shape, He's been out of work for the past eleven months, so I hate to say no, but I don't want him to do it. What can I say to convince him?

Anne: Help him find something else. Scour the papers and craigslist and any other outlet for work you can find. I have to believe there's something around other than taking his clothes off. Maybe you'll have to move somewhere for work? Would you be willing?

Dee: Yes, he would be taking off his clothes in front of drinking, sex-starved women. And yes, they would be ogling him with lust in their hearts and minds. Sure, they will be trying to stick their hands down his shorts in an effort to leave a puny dollar bill, and okay, a few might wait for him out back and want to fuck a little. But where's the harm?? Give the guy a break. It takes a lot of courage to get up in front of a howling crowd and show his package. He's willing to do it for his family. What are you willing to let him do?

Really. Examine your heart. If he should take this job, will you leave him? Fight with him every night? Make his (and your own) life miserable? If you trust him not to sow his seed with every backstage groupie, then I say let him try it. If you don't trust him, that's a different problem than what you wrote about.

Wants Another Child (NOT!)

Q: My husband wants another baby. The one we have now is only a year old and I'm already run ragged. I'm not even sure I want any more kids, much less another at this point. What can I say to convince him to wait?

Anne: People who don't take care for children don't know how much it takes to do so. Can you go on a trip for a few days and leave your child for your husband to take care of? That might give him an idea of the energy required. And you should also explain in no uncertain terms that you don’t have the energy or desire for another child right now. Make sure you're clear.

Dee: He likes to practice making kids. Do you? If so, fuck like bunnies—and make sure you’re on good, reliable birth control. Tell hubby that you are and why, and don't give into bullying or unfair persuasion. If sex is what he likes (and what you like) then have at it. If you don't like sex, then that's a different ballgame. In that case, seek help.

Wifely Education

Q: My wife is in college—again. This is the third time she's attempted to get an undergraduate degree. The first two times she didn't get beyond the second semester of the second year. That's about when she burns out, decides she doesn't want to do what she's in school for, and drops out. Within a few years, she's back at it. This is her third attempt and her third major area of study. She isn't working to help pay for this crap and I'm having to support the household and take care of two kids because she's "studying." That also means there's no time for sex. I'm sick of this, but don't know what to do about it.

Anne: It's admirable for someone to want to go back to school, but I think she needs some guidance. Have her see her school counselor and take an aptitude test of some sort. That might direct her to specific course of study where she is really passionate and can succeed. Once she does succeed, you may find you were happy she went back for her degree. College graduates make more money than non-graduates, so she'll be better able to contribute to the household finances.

Dee: She must have had time to do something besides school—you knocked her up twice at least. So unless you plan to keep her barefoot and pregnant in an effort to keep her out of college, it sounds as though the two of you should sit down and form a plan. If she's too scattered in what she likes to develop a plan for success in school, help her do it. Obviously she wants a degree or she wouldn't keep at it. So help her find a way to do it right. It sounds as though you're giving her support. Maybe grudgingly, but you're giving it. Make sure the support you give pays off. Be a man and not such a whiner. Help your wife be all she can be, and maybe she'll help you by getting on her knees once in awhile in gratitude.