Bridesmaid Blues

Q: Anne and Dee, I am 35 and once again being asked to be a bridesmaid. A friend I had in high school and with whom I've had only a brief acquaintance since, has asked me to attend her in her wedding. This is her second. I've yet to have one. If I had had one, I don't think I would have thought to ask this woman to be my bridesmaid--we just haven't been that close in the past few years. However, I'm still of the opinion that bridesmaids have the best shot at meeting men at weddings, so I'm considering her offer. What's the cost of one more hideous dress if there's the chance of meeting a single guy--especially one willing to go to a wedding?

Anne: Go easy on yourself. You're a mature woman who wants a meaningful relationship with a mature man. There's nothing at all wrong with that. However, why go to weddings to meet men, especially a wedding for a person to whom you don't feel any real connection? Develop hobbies where you might meet men, join church or social clubs. Get a dog and walk it to strike up conversations with men--it sounds cheesy but evidently works. Be open and friendly and patient. Princes are still out there, and they're not all hanging out at weddings.

Dee: I detect the whiff of desperation, and if I do from a note, your dates do across the table. Relax. Take a deep breath. There's nothing magical about the age of 35 that means the world has curled up in the hand basket rolling its way to Hell. Stand straight, woman. Hold up your head and show a little confidence in yourself. Nothing intrigues a man more than a woman who shows some spine. Remind yourself that not all men acting single at a wedding are single…or straight. There are better ways and places to meet men. Try acting less like you need or want a man. Perhaps then one will be willing to take the leap.

Or…go to the wedding and screw the night away if you find someone interesting. No need to waste an opportunity where there will be flowing booze and guys seeking a chance to get laid. Who knows what might come from a little casual sex?