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Monday, February 15, 2010

Betrayed by a Friend

Q: ARGHHH! Please help. My best friend and I have lived separate lives in different states for several years. Just last week we got together for a mini-reunion and I find we have nothing in common anymore. I'm liberal, she's conservative. I'm a single career woman and she's a stay-at-home mom with three children and a husband. I'm a player, seeing two or three men at once and having sex almost every night of the week, and she seems happy with the same guy she's been married to for nine years. This woman and I were simpatico in every way when we roomed together in college. Now she's nothing like I remember. I feel betrayed.

Anne: Remember that old children's saying, "Make new friends but keep the old…?" Well, it's true. It might not seem as though you have much in common right now, but stay in touch, keep trying to reconnect. Maybe you have little to talk about now, but in another nine years, when her kids are older and you and she have entered new life cycles, you may find your friendship is as strong as it used to be.

Dee: So let me get this straight. She doesn't agree with your beliefs, life style or career choice and you don't agree with hers? Well, fuck it if you two can't take a joke. This is life. People change, grow apart and then come back together. Agree to disagree now and find something to laugh about. Life is hard and lonely enough at times without giving up a good friend simply because she's a stay-at-home mom who loves her husband and votes Republican. If you're not simpatico (and there's something to laugh at right there, someone who still says simpatico), chalk it up to growing up. Believe me, when even more water has run under the proverbial bridge, a hell of a lot more will have changed, for both of you. Get used to it.

BTW, congrats on having sex so often. Way to go!