Q: I love my husband very much and I know he loves me. BUT, whenever I'm away from home he calls me three or four times a day. I often travel to my mother's or to our second home. At either place, I have things to do. When he phones, it's always at an inconvenient time, and it's almost always to tell me something that's unimportant--or at least could wait. When I'm short with him, he says it doesn't sound as though I miss him and he's hurt. I've tried asking him to call between two times (like 5:30 - 6:00) but he still calls whenever he has something to say. What can I do to get through to him?
Anne: Is this a trust issue? Surely your husband knows you aren't out running around on him if you go to help your mother or completing work at your other home. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you will call him nightly (or at some time you agree on), and you would appreciate not receiving calls at other times unless there's an emergency. With a specified time he knows you will talk, he might save all of his news or comments for then.
Dee: WTF? Your husband calls you multiple times during the day to chat? When he knows you're tied up with chores and other things to do? I mean, it's nice to know he misses you, but tell him to grow up, for Christ's sake. You're his wife, not his mommy.
It seems to me that two adults can restrain themselves to talking once a day when they're away from each other unless there is business to transact. As Anne said, set a time to talk and then make sure you are ready to spend a few minutes with him at that time. If he can't get that through his head, then whenever he calls, tell him you're in the middle of xxx and say, "Here, honey, talk to my mother because I really don't have time right now." I'm pretty sure he won't keep calling when he shouldn't.
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