My SIster is Having Sex

Q: I know my little sister is having sex. She's only 15. From the perspective of five years, I know what she's doing can ruin her life. She knows that I started having sex early, so what can I say or do now to steer her away from what she's doing?

Anne: Try explaining to her that now you regret your activities when you were a teen and tell her why. It's hard because in this day being pregnant as a teen doesn't carry the stigma it did in my youth, but even without the shame of being an unwed mother, having a child can completely change your life. The bigger worry to me is the chance of contracting aids, though, or some STD. Take her to a public health clinic and talk to a nurse who knows the stats regarding the age where aids presents itself—that will show that it's most often contracted in the younger years.

Dee: You are the voice of experience. Define to yourself why you wish you hadn't screwed around as a teen and then explain that to her. Don't preach. Be straightforward in why you think having sex early is bad—give firm, actual examples. Don't preach. Tell her that no matter how responsible she thinks she's being, no one at her age is really responsible—they give into emotion and pressure. One moment can change everything for her. Talk about what she wants in her future and how random sex can affect that. But don't preach.