The Case of the Hypochondriac

Q: I’m writing because my girlfriend reads this thing. Don’t know why. The ones I’ve read, you’ve been against the guy, so you obviously don’t know what you’re talking about. But SHE reads you so, here goes.

I love her, but she’s such a hypocondriac. I mean, dude, she can’t go anywhere without packing aspirin, allergy tablets, digestion pills, and God knows what else. I feel like she’s protecting herself against ME. Like, do I give her headaches or something? So tell her she’s insulting me by insisting on taking all that crap with her when we go out. She can use whatever she wants when she’s home with her mother. God knows, she needs something then, but with me? Dude, set her straight.
Dating a Hypocondriac

Anne: Hello, Dating. First off, I might suggest you notice how to spell hypochondriac. After that, maybe you should ask your girlfriend why she needs all the medication, and adjust your dating. If she’s allergic to pollen, then a day in the country isn’t such a good idea in spring or fall, for instance. If loud music gives her headaches (and so she feels the need for aspirin), then maybe you should avoid certain concerts or playing the radio too loud. I don’t know exactly what your situation is, but talk to her. You might find out things you didn’t know.

Dee: Dude, I’m going to answer your letter. Don’t know why. (I don’t always go against the guy. For instance, notice how I liked your wording?)

I see why your girlfriend is, like, a hypochondriac, Dude—she’s dating a pill. I don’t know about her, but you’re giving me a headache. I wish her luck.