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Sunday, July 12, 2009

Family Affairs

Q: I told my husband a few years ago (after a couple of drinks) that I thought his brother was a sexy hunk. I assured him nothing had happened between George (that's his brother) and me and never would. He said he understood why I thought so. Now, for last several months, every time we get together with my family I see my husband getting friendly with my sister. Worse, I think she'd flirting with him, too. I mentioned my fears to hubby and he said nothing was happening, and besides, I'd found George sexy so I don't have room to criticize him for thinking my sister was. I didn't even know he remembered my saying that about George. I'm worried. What should I do?

Anne: Talk to your sister and tell her that you know she doesn't mean to, but you're afraid your husband might be mistaking her friendliness for flirting. Ask her to let him know in no uncertain terms that she is not interested. Then talk to your husband again. Remind him that nothing happened between you and his brother and you expect the same will be true about him and your sister. If he knows you're uncomfortable, he should do everything he can to improve the situation.

Dee: Take a digital camera with you to every family occasion. If you see a flirtatious moment, quietly snap a photo. When you have a few pictures, print them and show them to hubby--maybe sis, too--along with word that you've heard of a good divorce lawyer and that you plan to leave him nothing but a few nuts--he'll know which ones you mean. I'll bet sis and hubby don't even sit in the same room after that.

Messing around when you're married is wrong. Messing around with family when you're married is wrong and stupid.