Traveling Broadens the Mind...and Spreads the Legs

Q: I just finished my undergraduate degree and have a unique opportunity to travel through Europe for six months with a good friend who speaks several languages and knows the various countries. It's the chance of a lifetime. The trouble is, my friend is a guy, Herb. My fiancé, Robert, doesn't understand that Herb and I are just friends. He is insisting that if I take the trip I might as well not come back planning to marry him. I love Robert, but I know I will never be able to travel like this again. Work will drag me down and then Robert and I will be married and he wants kids right away. Once we start a family I'll never break away. Any ideas on how I can convince Robert that I do love Herb—but only as a friend and that there's nothing wrong with sharing a trip with him? Herb is paying for all the accommodations and travel once we're on the Continent—all I have to do is get myself there and pay for my food. How can I pass this up?

Anne: Are you sure Herb thinks of you as only a friend? I don't know, but to me it seems a little strange to ask a woman on a trip, especially since he is handling hotel concerns. As for Robert, I think he might be over-reacting a bit, but I don't think I'd be happy to have my fiancé traveling for six months with a friend of the opposite gender. Chance of a lifetime is right, but you'd better consider which lifetime you want to live. This trip is for six months but haven't you decided that Robert is the next many years?

Dee: My advice? Tell Robert to screw himself and then fuck Herb from Dublin to Moscow. Hell, if you decide to give in to Robert, give Herb my number—I'd go off for a six month trip virtually paid for by someone else.

The thing I noticed was your wording. Work will drag me down and then I'll be married. Quite a combination of thoughts. Then you said once you start a family you won't break away. If that's the way you really think of things, you aren't ready to be engaged or married. Tell Robert au revoir, adios, auf wiedersehen and take advantage of Herb's generosity. And if he wants to take advantage of more, you might find you don't mind spreading your legs for a "good friend" within view of the London Tower, the Coliseum, the Eiffel Tower, the Danube, and so on. You go, girl!