Sex for Diamonds

Q: I want a diamond for Christmas in the worst way. I'm in my mid-20s and have been dating the same man for nine months. I love him and I think we are perfect together. I mean, everything about him is wonderful—he has a good job with great pay, he's handsome and he likes taking me out to great places. He's always buying me things and saying he wants to make me happy. And I am! Needless to say, the sex is fantastic. He's always ready to try new things and has taken me on sexual fantasies I didn't know I had. I tell him that every time he gives me a new present, I will give him a new treat in bed. So far the presents have been coming in and I've dug through sex books to come up with his rewards (he especially loves my blowjobs in unusual positions!). But now I want the real thing—a ring, a wedding and a piece of paper that says he's mine. What can do in these last weeks before Christmas to clinch the deal?

Anne: It sounds as though you're taken with him, but I wonder if it's for the right reasons. You don't say anything about him—his character, his soul. All you mention are material things. Maybe you should take a step back and ask yourself why you're trying to "clinch the deal" instead of share a personal life with the man that goes beyond gifts and sex.

Dee: There's a word for women who have sex in exchange for money or gifts. Not to say that's you, but… Well, maybe I am saying that's you. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Hey, your guy's a willing participant in all this. But he sounds as though he's happy showering you with gifts as long as he can stick you with his big one and maneuver through some new position once a week or so. You're wanting to change the rules of the game, and to me it sounds as though the reason is to secure that community property. Again, nothing wrong with that—a girl needs some security when those Kama Sutra tangles are no longer possible. Because, Lady, even if you should get that diamond, I don't see this as a long-term relationship. I don't think your guy does, either.

My advice? Keep up your looks and stay limber. Take all the gifts this guy is willing to give and then move on to the next guy who is willing to fuck in exchange for a few trinkets. If that's your idea of a relationship, there are always men willing to play along. But that's all it will be. Maybe you can ask your current boyfriend for references when he's ready to call it quits. The good news? In this rotten economy, you've found a job that actually pays, and pays pretty well. Good going!