Q: My husband wants a divorce. He told me last night, completely out of the blue. He evidently found someone he loves and he no longer loves me. I'm shattered. I don't know what to do. How do I start to handle this?
Anne: Call a lawyer, right now. Call the best one you can find and ask for immediate instructions, even if you can't get an appointment right away. There are things you need to take care of before any more time passes. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I know right now you are stunned, but you need to try and get hold of your emotions. It will be better for you in the long run if you do that—even when you move from being stunned into being angry, which will happen. And then keep in mind that you'll change feelings again. This is like the grieving process you would go through for a death, so don't be afraid. It will pass eventually and you will get your life back. Good luck.
Dee: I wouldn't say find the best lawyer. I'd say to find the sleaziest, mean dog lawyer you can. Go to the bank immediately and tell them what going on—make sure your hubby hasn't emptied your joint accounts. Same with the credit cards. And if you don't have credit cards in your name, apply right away while you still have a married status. If you need to see a shrink, don't feel bad or embarrassed. Anne was right about controlling your emotions. Only if you are in control will you be able to appreciate truly the good feeling of grabbing his balls and squeezing and twisting until he squeals like the pig he is. Good luck. Have fun!
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