Q: My mother wants me to go on birth control pills. I'm fifteen and have not had sex. In addition, I have signed a chastity pact stating I won't have sex until I get married. I am a straight A student and haven't given my mother cause to worry. She thinks because she got pregnant before she finished high school that I will, too. How can I get her to trust me?
Sign me Happy to Be a Virgin
Anne: Wow. After all that she doesn't believe you won't have sex? If getting good grades, stating your intentions and not getting into trouble isn't enough, I'm not sure what is. Have your doctor talk to her and explain the disadvantages to taking the pill, especially if there's no need. Keep on getting on! You're a good example and an inspiration to other girls.
Maybe Dee can help you more since she did everything you aren't. Sister, dear!
Dee: I hardly know what to say, Virgin. It seems to me your mom should be ecstatic to have the only 15-year old virgin in the country. AND you make good grades, AND you signed a chastity pledge. Anne, you aren't trying to trick me, are you?
Okay, here's the deal. Pharmaceuticals are very valuable things—when they are needed. Your mom obviously wants you to have advantages she didn't have, but if you don't need the pill, you shouldn't be taking it. Maybe if you tell her that you promise—and this has to be a sworn, sacred vow—that if you do plan to engage in sex that you will then go to the doc and get the pill, maybe she'll give you a break.
The trouble is—and your mom knows this much better than you—sex happens even when it isn't planned. So do pregnancies. And no well-intentioned celibacy pacts will protect you from getting in the family way once you unintentionally cross that line in the back seat of Johnny's Ford Camaro (or whatever). Hope you're happy then.
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