Anne: I'm sure I will sound just like your mom when I say not to rush things—you'll grow up fast enough. You should enjoy the age you are—every year brings its pleasure, and boys will come soon enough. Take it slowly, regardless of your friends. Learn to love and appreciate yourself, and then you will appreciate a relationship with a boy much more.
Look. With each step you take in life, there are consequences and changes you can never take back or change. And it's human nature to want more, no matter what you have now.
So how does that apply to your question? Let's take a hypothetical situation. (If you don't know what hypothetical means you sure as hell are not old enough to be dating.) A fourteen-year-old girl I know named…um, Sally wants to do what her friends do. It so happens her friends date—or maybe meet guys somewhere that their parents don't know about. Sally sneaks with them and does the same. She wears makeup that her mom forbids and pulls her skirt up to her thighs.
Guys, being guys, will try to get the girls to do more than raise their skirts to their thighs. They might encourage drinking or drugs—both things that will loosen Sally's inhibitions. Before Sally and her friends know it, they’re kissing the guys, they're letting the guys touch a little. Maybe they touch a little, too, and it's exciting and feels good. Really good. One thing no one tells a young girl is that foreplay feels great. The more a guy does, the better it feels and before you know it, you aren't thinking much anymore.
It's at this point that some girls lose all sense and go all the way. They let the guy fuck them—'cause fucking is what it is, Missy. There's nothing romantic about it, no matter what nonsense the guy spouts at the moment. He's only saying whatever it takes to get in your pants—remember that.
Now here's what I want you to think about:
Probably in a matter of weeks, Sally has gone from a normal fourteen-year-old to a girl who "puts out." That's what the guys will say to each other, and before she knows it, she'll have lots of guys hanging around—all wanting her to spread her legs. Hey! Nothing against the guys—it's the way male children are (some male adults, too). They will expect Sally to continue doing what she's already started.
At fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, what else is there? Sally has already done it all, and the thrill and/or pleasure has worn off. And SHE CAN'T EVER GO BACK TO THE WAY THINGS WERE.
That might not seem like much now, but think about it. Which road do you want to take? I'm sure you keep whining to your mother that you're grown up and can make decisions for yourself. Well, prove it by making the right decision now. There's plenty of time for screwing around later. You'll enjoy it more, believe me.
If you choose the wrong path, please talk to your mother and tell her if you get involved in sex. Take precautions against disease and pregnancy. But I hope you hold off.