Exposed Problems

Q: I took my daughter out for dinner over the weekend. I only see her every other weekend. She's six, going on twenty, I've discovered. Over hamburgers she asked me what boys do with their penises. I asked her why she asked and she said that mommy's boyfriend walks around the house naked and when she asked what the thing was hanging in front, he said a penis. I was so furious I couldn't think of what to say. I finally did stumble over a brief explanation that little boys and girls have different bodies because God had different plans for us, but I didn't go into any great detail, or try to explain sex. But I do want to know what my ex wife is thinking. And doing. And exposing my daughter to. What should I do?

Anne: See your lawyer. You don't say how long you've been divorced, but especially if it's been a recent event, you need to get things straightened out as soon as possible. And talk to your ex. Let her know you're concerned and that your daughter is asking questions.

Dee: There is nothing wrong with the human body or even exposing it to children—in the right circumstances. That does not sound like the case here. At any rate, you have the right to know what your child is seeing and hearing. Lucky you that she trusted you enough to ask questions. Anne is right. Let your ex know that you don't appreciate boyfriends walking around in the nude, and also contact your attorney. This isn't something you want to come back later and have anyone say that you knew and took no action.