Someone Needs to Grow Up in Greeville

Q: I met a great woman in the grocery store last week. In fact, we struck it off so well standing in line, I asked her out for coffee. We spent a whole two hours talking and laughing. Just when I was about to ask her out for a real date, she dropped the news that she's a stripper at a local dive. It might make me shallow, but my interest went down immediately. I took her number but haven't called her yet. I know my mother would kill me if she knew I was dating a stripper, and how would I introduce her to my friends?

Anne: Look, you had a good time with this lady. You had no idea of her profession before she told you, so she doesn't "act" like a stripper—whatever that means. If you like her, see her. Let the rest take care of itself.

Dee: Are you out of your mind? You liked her. She liked you. By a fucking pole for the living room and enjoy your good fortune. You found a woman who has a mind and sense of humor and a good body. Are you getting the picture here?? If you won't go out with someone you like because you're afraid of what mommy would think, then you don't need a pussy for entertainment, you are a pussy. If she'd said she was a prostitute with her own street corner, I'd feel differently. But a dancer? For Pete's sake, bite the bullet and grow a set.

Harrison High School Jerk

Q: A guy I had a huge crush on in high school took me out once our senior year. We didn't have sex (though we came close) and he never called or really talked to me again. I always thought it was because I didn't let him "go all the way," but maybe it was because I was kind of chubby and wore glasses and stuff. I saw him a few weeks ago and I'm quite different looking. He didn't remember my name—or that we dated that one time—but he sure is interested now. What should I do?

Anne: Well, that stinks, but really, high school is over and done with. It all depends on how you feel now, as an adult. If you met up with him and find you want to go out, do it. I would say though, that if you have any kind of idea of revenge for the wrong he did you in high school, forget it. If he's still the same jerk he was back then, just don't go out with him again.

Dee: What can we say? Guys are jerks often enough when they're grown up. In high school there's no hope at all. They're totally hormone driven, with fucking on the mind morning, noon and night. If you didn't give it up, he might well have been stupid enough to forget about you. If he pulls the same shit now, blow him off—and I don't mean in the fun way you both will enjoy. Good luck.

Can't Seem to Plan My Life

Q: I am totally disorganized. My boyfriend threatens to break up with me if I miss one more date because I didn't have it written in the planner he bought me for my birthday, and my mother doesn't speak to me anymore because I forgot her birthday…for the third year in a row. I don't mean to forget these things, I just do. Is there any help for me?

Anne: Well, just use your planner. The minute you find you have an appointment, write it down. Then remember to look at it. Maybe you have too much going on? If so, cut back on some activities and focus on those things that are really important. Fewer things to keep track of means more things you will keep track of.

Dee: As Anne said, you remember the things that are important. I'll bet you aren't this scattered at work, are you? If so, you wouldn't be working for long. So here's my take. Your mom is a nag, always has been, always will be. Forgetting something that you know will irritate her is your way of getting back at her. As for your boyfriend, dump the bastard. If he bought you a planner and you still don't remember dates, well, read the writing on the wall. He obviously isn't the guy that gets your panties wet. Move on.

Men in Uniform--Who Can Resist?

Q: I'm attending school in Norfolk, Virginia as a freshman. I live in Kansas and have a steady boyfriend who's going to Kansas State. He says he's staying true to me and I believe him. However, I'm almost to the point where I can't keep saying the same to him. I'm surrounded my military guys all the time, and what they say about a man looking good in uniform is so true. I've made friends with a couple of really nice men, a sailor and a marine. So far we've just gone out as part of a gang, but I'm really attracted to both guys and they've indicated they're attracted to me, too. What should I do? I don't want to break up with my boyfriend, and I don't want to cheat, but I feel myself weakening.

Anne: Long distance relationships are very hard. If you and your boyfriend pledged to stay faithful, then you have to try hard to do so. Freshman year is difficult and you're far from home. Take stock of what you really want and truly feel. If it's your boyfriend, hang tough even though you might be lonely. Don't give into the thrill of a quick romance with a virtual stranger who might be at a distance himself in a month or so.

Dee: Going away to school is only a little about getting a good education. Heck, you could have done that much closer to home. It's mostly about seeing new horizons and finding out about life. I am NOT recommending experimenting with sex drugs and alcohol, but I am saying that being in a new place among new people is part of discovering what you want out of life. You and your boyfriend should be dating, learning about other people and finding out your true feelings. If you love each other, it'll come through even after dating others. This is no time to tie yourself down to one person or place. Just be sure not to do anything harmful or that you'll regret. This isn't a time to go wild, just spread your wings in a new segment of your life.

By the way, Anne and I are also here among the uniformed men of the US military, and all I can say is hubba-hubba.