A Little Virtual Viagra

It's been a long time since we were online, but just like the Terminator, "We came back." We hope you are back with us!

There were many questions submitted while we were traveling from Virginia to Idaho, and here's one now.

Q: My husband is furious with me. He is a programmer professionally, so I thought when he came home he'd want a break, but he doesn't. He eats dinner and then disappears into the office until bedtime. He never talks about what he's doing, so earlier this week I started his computer just to look at the desktop. All of these porn sites opened up. I was shocked—I mean really shocked. We are church elders and follow the Bible. How could he sit in here for hours and look at naked women?? Don't get me wrong. There was nothing too perverse—no children or other men—but he has me for sex for why does he need to see these other…things?

Anne: I'm sure there is a good psychological reason why men enjoy porn, but the simple explanation is that they're more visually stimulated than women. The sight of a bare breast is exciting to them. Now it sounds as though your hubby has gone off the deep end, if he's spending hours at the computer terminal. I would suggest that you seek help—maybe couples counseling or a session with your minister—to see why he's looking for fulfillment in the virtual world rather than in the real bedroom.

Dee: What kind of sex life do you have? I mean. do you have a Bible reading before sleep? I believe in the Good Book, but (let's face it) that could have a diminishing effect on a man's pokey stick, you know? Instead of complaining about those nekkid girls, why don't you try joining them? Meet him at the door with nothing on but a smile, or tell him that dessert is on you, and really serve dessert on you. Your husband is obviously seeking something more exciting and "out there" than what he thinks he's getting at home. Maybe you should be happy that he is looking at girls on the computer screen and not out fucking some hot box in an alley.

On the other hand, you didn't mention your ages. Are you young, newly married, a mature couple, or in-between? That has some bearing on the situation, too. Is he accompanying the peek shows with phone sex? If you're too worried about greeting him with nothing on, maybe you could call him with a little oral stimulation—your lips whispering nasty, enticing images into his ear via the phone. In other words, don't just complain—get off your ass and do something to spark his interest.

If none of that words, seek out a therapist or divorce lawyer.

Moving Yet Again

Hi, A Little Sisterly Advice readers,

Anne and I are on the road again, this time to the great Northwest. While we are in the process of moving, the computer may be down a whole month and a half (yikes!) and we will be out of touch.

As soon as we are back up and running we will post answers to the questions you send us--so please keep sending those questions! We will receive them as soon as we have e-mail contact.

Wish us well in the move and the new jobs. We will miss you!!

Please enjoy some questions and answers from the past nearly three years of posts by clicking in the archive folders.

Take care, and please keep checking back for us--
Anne and Dee

A Very Worried Sister

Q: I have reason to believe my brother-in-law is planning to harm my sister. I don't have proof, just a suspicion. What should I do?

Anne: Good heavens! How sure are you? Enough to go to authorities, warn your sister, take action if there are children involved? Or do you have a good enough imagination that you're stretching the facts? If you think there is real, imminent danger, talk to your sister—or brother-in-law. But if you're not sure there's really something imminent, remember that words can't be taken back and you will be affecting family dynamics forever.

Dee: First off, stop watching the Investigation Discovery network. Next, make damn sure you have your facts straight. You don't want to be the sister who says, "I knew something was wrong and I should have said something," but you also don't want to be the one who isn't included at Christmas because no one is speaking to you.