Q: My boyfriend of three years wants us to spend Mother's Day weekend with his mom. He's the baby in the family and the only boy and his mother spoils him horribly so he always wants to go there for holidays. I'd prefer to see my mother, whom we almost never visit together. The difference? At his mother's we can't share a room. Honest to Pete, we're in our late 20s and have been together for years and she still doesn't think we sleep together? My mom thinks by this time we should be married but at least she's aware of how life is. Should I put my foot down?
Anne: I suppose if I was your mother I might wonder what the hold up is on the marriage, too, but that's your business. Forget the sleeping together thing, the real question is why are you always going to his family's house together and not yours? To me, this shows a real problem in the relationship between your boyfriend and your family. Is there friction? If not, I don't understand why he wouldn't agree to split holidays. Is this how he will be if and when you do marry? That's something to think about. Until then, yes, say something to him about the disparity. And if you're in his mom's house and she says separate beds, her wishes should be respected.
Dee: You mean if you go to your mom's house you can do the dirty but you can't if you go to his mom's? And your boyfriend still wants to visit his mother? Dump this mama's boy before it's too late. Spoiled ain't the half of it--he's coddled and he loves it. If you stay with him be prepared never to see your family and to make his life just as wonderful as his mother does. Good luck on both counts.
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