Don't Throw Out the Bike!

Q: My son will be 16 in a couple of months, and he wants a car in the worst way. I'm a single father and really can't afford to buy him one, especially in this economy when work is uncertain. To his credit, he's worked summers and after school for the past several years and saved a good bit of that money. I've had college costs in mind for it, but now I find that he's had a car planned. How can I handle this situation and not make him an angry teen?

Anne: Gosh, the teen years are the hardest to deal with. I would sit down and talk the problem out. Has he found a car he likes? Does he know the costs of insurance and maintenance? Does he know the responsibility required? In other words, does he know that owning a car is much more than the car itself? Once all the cards are on the table, maybe the two of you can come to an agreement.

Dee: Look, I agree with everything Anne says. Maybe looking for a car is something the two of you can do together and bond a little. But I'd also add that you are the parent. Sometimes it's your job to lay down the law. Try to be reasonable and hope that he is, too, but in the end you might have to say no--and mean it. Not having a car at 16 isn't the end of the world, as a good many of us know. Your son might have to discover it, too, and he'll survive just like we did.

[Note: Dee and Anne will be on the road this week and will be unable to answer posts. I hope you'll forgive our lack of response!]