Sunday Dinner Trouble

Q: My mother expects my husband and me to eat at her house every single Sunday. And not just eat there, come for the say. They wait to go to Mass so we can go with them, mom expects me to help in the kitchen and dad like Mike to watch the game (whatever game is on) with him.

The trouble is, we're newlyweds—just got married three months ago. We do live nearby (about 60 miles), and we both love my mom and dad, but… How can I tell my parents that we really want to start establishing our own Sunday meals, or that we even want sometimes to sleep in and relax over the paper? I'm an only child who lived at home right up until the wedding and my parents are European transplants who are big believers in family. Mom is very sensitive and dad backs her up no matter what. I don't want to hurt their feelings but I want to feel like a married woman, alone with my new husband, on the weekends as well as during the week.

Anne: Family is touchy, but you have to put down your foot now, before things go too far. Explain to your mom that you all love her and your dad, but that you have plans the next Sunday. Then make plans—even if it's to sleep late or watch a movie on TV. Tell her you will be happy to come to Sunday dinner once a month. Maybe you could suggest they come to your house every other month. Just you and your hubby decide what you are willing to do, and then explain it to your parents. Stay firm and eventually your mom and dad will get used to the new plan.

Dee: First of all, you think 60 miles one way is "nearby"??? Explain very sweetly to your parents that you and your husband work all week and you need the weekend to catch up on sex. That should shut them up for a minute or two while you go on to say that you work all week and take care of normal chores on Saturday, leaving only Sunday for sweaty sheets and hot screwing. Tell your mom to remember back to when she was married for three months, and if she's honest she'll recall her own tangled sweaty sheets. I mean, you came from somewhere. If she asks you to explain further, you're in big trouble. Although, you could say you were hoping to give up that honkin' big dildo you've been hiding in your underwear drawer for the last two years and start using something hotter that works without batteries. I can practically guarantee your parents will be speechless after that. Good luck.