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Monday, October 11, 2010

Can You Say Dil-doh?

Q: I have a fake penis, but the thing came with no instructions. How do I use it?

Anne: Having never used one, I’m not sure, but aren’t they kind of self-explanatory??

Dee: You didn’t say very much about the dildo. (Say it out loud: dil-doh. It won’t bite you. Or if the one you have does bite, send me the brand name immediately.) Is it a vibrating model, straight line or more anatomically correct in shape, wired or wireless, soft and skin-like or hard and unbending? Use the dildo to rub your clit, tease your labia and then insert it into your vagina. In other words, use it like a (good, hunky, skilled) man would—in, out, in, out. It’s not rocket science, though used properly, it can set off rockets in your pussy.

Whatever kind of unit it is, I hope you bought a cleaner. Special coverings require a special to keep the surface supple. Even if you are using just soap, make sure to clean the whole surface thoroughly after each use—remember where it’s been and where it will be going again. (Obviously, if you have a battery-powered unit, you don’t submerge the unit.) Then dry it completely.

Some recommend using condoms as extra protection. This will work if what you have is a regularly shaped dildo and not a rocket or a rabbit style.

Remember too, that when a dildo is used like a cock, your pussy tends to think it is a cock. Do the same things after using the dildo that you would if you’d just had regular, old sex. And like sex with a cock, be warned that fucking yourself can become addicting. You know exactly where to touch, where to rub, where to be rough and where to be gentle. You’ve got a lot of good times ahead of you! Have fun!