Giving Thanks Without the Family

Q: I've been dating my boyfriend for almost three years. He's funny. smart and successful. All my friends tell me how cute he is and the sex is great. The thing is, three years of dating for an adult is a long time. He's not only never talked about marriage or any serious commitment. he's never even taken me home to meet his family. Not for anything—birthdays, weddings, holidays, nothing. We meet up with his friends and mine to do things but don't you think it's strange that he wouldn't invite me to anything where his family is involved? They live less than 40 miles away, and even if his parents come into town for dinner or his brother comes for a ballgame, it's always without me. Do you think that means anything? The latest "miss" was last week. He went to his folks' for Thanksgiving and I stayed here in town for the holiday alone.

Anne: It definitely sounds as though he's not ready for a commitment. You have to make up your mind if going along as you are is a deal breaker or not. If you're ready to settle down and want much more, you need to tell him straight out and see what he says. If he still indicates he's not ready, maybe you need to free yourself to look for someone who is.

Dee: You can stick a fork in him, but he's not ready. Stop screwing this turkey and find someone new to gobble.

Thankful Thursday

Hello, all,

Anne here. Dee and I are taking the week off to give thanks. I'm thankful that we have wonderful family and friends, though they're far away. Dee says she's especially grateful for long lasting batteries and something called the Clitinator. (What in the world…?)

Anyway, we're both thankful for the love of a good man, that we live in a great country and that we have great, fine, wonderful men and women of the military who are willing to sacrifice in order to protect us. There will never be thanks enough for them and their families.

And we're very grateful for all of you, our readers and our books. Thank you!

We hope your holiday is safe and blessed.
Anne (and Dee)

Older But Maybe Not Wiser

Q: I'm what's come to be known as a cougar. My boyfriend of a year is 12 years younger than me. I'm…let's say past the legal drinking age by about 25 years and he's in his 30s. He seems perfectly happy with our relationship. I love parts of it (especially the frequent and fantastic sex), but I get nervous going out with him. I keep thinking everyone's staring at us and wondering how much I'm paying to get a young stud for a date. What I think they're saying behind my back makes me feel like a slut, not a nice man's lover. If we could stay home, just with each other, I'd be more content, but he's very social and likes to be out with his friends. What should I do?

Anne: It's a cliché to say that if the roles were reversed—if you were a man and he a woman—no one would think anything of the situation you're in. You are woman. Let's hear you roar. I say try to enjoy your relationship—he seems to be.

Dee: OMG! You are being fucked senseless by—in your own words—a stud, and you're questioning what? Why he's screwing you? Something about your technique must be good. Then are you asking why he takes you out with his friends? He must not be embarrassed by your looks or manners. So you're wondering why he "seems perfectly happy" with the status quo? Lady, you must be doing something right!!!!

Now, if you think there's something wrong with what you're doing, like if you think there's something morally objectionable about an older woman being with a younger man, then break it off. Send him away to make some other older woman happy. Otherwise, relax, smile and enjoy your good fortune—plenty of other women would love being between your bed sheets.

Boobs or Booby Prize?

Q: I don't know whether to be insulted or elated. After a long, dry spell, I finally have a boyfriend. We've dated for a couple of months and the sex is great. Or at least, I think it is. For me it has been. I've always known I wasn't Mary Big Boobs, but I thought my girls were attractive enough. Until last week said boyfriend offered to pay for the surgery if I'd get them increased by 2-3 inches. He says he's a breast man and he just doesn't get all that turned on with me looking the way I do. Funny, I thought he was turned on. Now I don't know if I should take the money and run, or just run.

Anne: Run. Any man who has been making love and then can make such a comment doesn't deserve you. If he isn't excited by who you are, find someone who is. Plus, there's a huge risk to you if something goes wrong.

Dee: This isn't about making love, it's about fucking, and half of that is fantasy. The surgical risks aside—and they are considerable, so be sure you do your homework—how do you feel about having larger breasts? Would they make you pleased with your reflection or self-conscious?

Assuming you wouldn't be unhappy with a bigger bra size, and assuming you are willing to find a really good surgeon with a track record of success (you're not paying, remember), and assuming all payments are made up front (no pun intended), then I say go for it. After all, relationships come and go, but 38Ds last forever.