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Monday, October 31, 2011

Thanksgiving Embarrassment

Q: I live with my boyfriend, which my parents don't know. He wants us to invite both of our families to the house for Thanksgiving. I would rather not since I don't want to advertise the fact that we're cohabitating. What should I do?

Anne: Tell your boyfriend you're uncomfortable—not embarrassed (unless that's true? In which case I'd advise moving to your own place), but unwilling to rub it in your parents' faces that you are living with someone you're not married to. Then plan to go home.

Dee: How about his parents? Would you feel differently if it was just his parents coming to dinner and not yours? If so, you should re-evaluate why you've decided to live in a situation that obviously embarrasses you. If I'm wrong and you are not embarrassed, you need to explain your living conditions to your parents before inviting them to the house. However, your note makes me thing of the old adage: Don't do the time if you can't do the time. Change it to: If you fuck and then you blush, to playing house you should not rush. Take a long, hard look at your feelings about living with the boyfriend before you imagine how your folks will feel.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Vibrators 101

Q: What's the difference in vibrators? Are the biggest ones the best?

Anne: Having never used a vibrator, I'm afraid I can't help you. I'm sure there are sites online that will describe the various models.

Dee: Unlike Sis, I've used many different vibrators. The biggest is not necessarily the best, I can tell you that. Make sure you find a size and style that suits you. The largest unit might hurt or not fit comfortably unless you lubricate it well. Wherever you buy the unit will also sell lube, so don't forget it. Also remember to buy something specifically designed to clean your unit—different styles use different cleaners.

You'll get lots of information from my favorite sex toy site, Adam and Eve. Right now they're featuring a G-spot vibrator, and they offer a picture explanation of where the G-spot is. But they also sell large and smaller vibrators with a skin-like covering, glass units that can be chilled and warmed before use (chilling gives a whole new exciting sensation), eggs that vibrate (all I can say is, wow!), and rabbit styles, some made of gel that I don't particularly find comfortable, but they also feature an additional appendage that vibrates the clitoris while the main part stimulates the vagina. Pussy and clit stimulation together can't be beat!

But, it all comes down to what you find comfortable. Browse Adam and Eve and other sites, read the reviews, and then pick something to try. There is no right or wrong unless what you try doesn't feel good.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Child Abuse Without Using the Strap

Q: My mom hates me. I'm not just saying that, she really does. She's told me many times that I was a horrible mistake and how much she lost and gave up because she got pregnant with me. She never praises me for anything I do. I'm a sophomore in high school. I have very good grades and am a valued member of clubs and community organizations. I cook dinner every night and keep the house clean so when she comes home from work she has nothing to do. Still, all she ever does is run me into the ground and say how useless I am. In front of others she's sweetness and light about me, but in private it's just the opposite. I don't know how much longer I can take this. What should I do?

Anne: This is a tragic situation. You don't mention a father or other family members,. so I assume you and your mom are alone in the house. Is there an aunt or family friend you might be able to talk to? If not, I suggest speaking with a counselor at school (who should keep your conversations private) or maybe a minister. You need a responsible adult to whom you can talk frankly. Don't bottle your feelings. You have three years left before you can realistically leave the house, so find help with someone you trust. You might be able to find a solution that allows you to blossom despite your mother.

Dee: It sounds as though your mother is a shit, and Anne is right. This is child abuse and needs to stop right away. You need to find an adult who has your best interests are heart who can help you escape her abuse. That could be a doctor, a school counselor or nurse, a minister or even someone who heads one of the organizations you belong to. Most of those people can at least listen and offer suggestions as to a next step. Good luck.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Stripping for College Bucks

Q: I come from a very religious family. I mean, church twice on Sunday, choir practice and a Bible lessons during the week. I didn't have an unhappy childhood,. but I guess I always knew that life wasn't for me. Now I'm twenty and trying to make the money I need to complete my degree. I was offered the chance to strip in a local club. The money is really good and I only have to work three nights a week. I've been to the club and felt an immediate bond with the women who worked there. I know I could do this, but I'm afraid if my family found out they would disown me. What should I do?

Anne: If it's not illegal or immoral, you have to follow your heart. The question is, do you believe stripping to be immoral? Your family will, from what you've said. If you can face their dismay and believe in yourself enough to withstand their criticism, then you should be all right. Just remember, money aside, you need to be able to face yourself in the mirror each day.

Dee: You're twenty years old and (it sounds) paying for your own education. The decision of how you live your life is up to you. You'll be faced with other decisions in life that will bring their criticism even if you don't strip. If you find the place is safe and that they don't expect you to fuck the customers (or owners), I say go for it. It's not like once you start you can't leave if you discover it's not what you think now. Give it a shot if you want, and let your family decide whether or not they love you, regardless of what you do.

Monday, October 3, 2011

More Than Babies Like Nipples

Q: My girlfriend wears her clothes too short and tight. Sometimes she doesn't wear a bra, so her nipples are visible through her tops. Everywhere we go men ogle her, but she doesn't seem to mind looking and acting like a slut. I love seeing her look sexy, but I want to be the only man who sees her like that. When I bring it up to her, she just says I should be proud that other men find her sexy, and to stop feeling jealous. Somehow, it doesn't work that way for me. But whenever we come home, the sex is hotter than the sun.

Anne: This is a real problem and I feel for you. Unfortunately, it's her body and her choice of what she wears. As long as she stays covered enough not to be arrested, you're out of luck.

Dee: The last line of your note says it all—the sex is hot after you've been out and watched your girl nearly show it all to other men. You might not like seeing them leer, but you like the results later on. So are you really so much against her exposure?

Look, you have to decide what you're willing to live with and what you're not. If you can't stand seeing her nipples on full display for others, then leave. If you like the hot fucking more then you dislike her short skirts and braless tops, then shut up and learn to enjoy her attributes in public as well as private.