This Girl Wants SEX--In the Best Way or Worst

Q: My God! My girlfriend is demanding sex three and four times a day all of a sudden. I'm virile and my spirit is willing, but the flesh just can't take it. I can't study, I can't read or watch TV without her climbing on me and wanting my cock inside her. She even got her bush waxed! I asked her what she ate that made her like this—she used to be sweet and unassuming, giving me sex whenever I wanted it, but never initiating—and she got mad. Said if I couldn't give her what she needed, she'd find someone who could. I'm afraid to have the guys over to watch a ballgame for fear she might have a different "ball game" in mind. What the hell do I do??

Anne: Something has changed for this woman and I suggest you find out quickly what it is. She doesn't do drugs or anything, does she? Has she changed her friends? Taken a feminine empowerment class or something? You can't address the situation until you know the root cause, so look for that.

Dee: What the hell is wrong with you??? She has obviously discovered what you haven't pointed out to her yet: Women love sex, too. And not by being "sweet and unassuming," available at your beck and call. Someone has alerted her to her sexuality, and it wasn't you, Bud.

So. Your choices are what?

• You start taking vitamins and working out instead of sitting on your butt watching TV. That way maybe you'd be able to keep up with her.
• You call your friends over regularly and have sex with the girlfriend night. (Not recommended unless the two of you are into kinky stuff.)
• Make a trip to Adam and Eve.com and buy her some toys. That way she can satisfy herself. On those times you join in the fun, it will be even better for her. The remote control egg can bring a woman off in under a minute and it's always ready and willing. Or maybe try a nice rabbit that does the pussy and clit at the same time.
• Be imaginative, jerk, and find alternative ways to satisfy her when you're a little tired or have a headache. (Poor baby.) By that, I mean suck her off. Learn to be the world's greatest expert in cunnilingus, and she'll be yours forever.

There are a lot of guys out there who would love to have your problem, you know. A woman who wants to fuck all the time? A blessing, man, a blessing. And if you don't do something like what I've described above, one of them is going to end up with your girlfriend.

Coupon Book Valentine Gift

Q: Every year my husband gives me flowers or candy for Valentine's Day. I don't mean to imply that things have gotten boring between us sexually. Or maybe I do. This year—our seventh married Valentine's Day—I want something to shake things up. What are your suggestions?

Anne: A romantic weekend retreat. No matter where you live there is someplace you can go to be alone for a day or two. Give him an IOU coupon book. With a daily coupon for a week, you agree to give him something he wants: a back rub, his favorite meal, relief from taking out the trash, and so on. That would be very different, I'll bet.

Dee: The coupon book is a good idea. Here are some ideas for each day: a blow job; surprise him by wearing no underwear when you go out; use a vibrator on yourself in front of him; go out to dinner wearing an egg—and give him the remote; buy and wear some sexy lingerie; send the kids to mom's and rent an adult movie—then act out a scene; arrange to "meet" in a bar or restaurant and pick each other up as though you were strangers. Or, you could probably promise to give head every night and I'm sure he'd be happy. If that doesn't shake things up, find a good lawyer because honey, something's up the creek.

Vibrators 101

Q: What's the difference in vibrators? Are the biggest ones the best?

Anne: Having never used a vibrator, I'm afraid I can't help you. I'm sure there are sites online that will describe the various models.

Dee: Unlike Sis, I've used many different vibrators. The biggest is not necessarily the best, I can tell you that. Make sure you find a size and style that suits you. The largest unit might hurt or not fit comfortably unless you lubricate it well. Wherever you buy the unit will also sell lube, so don't forget it. Also remember to buy something specifically designed to clean your unit—different styles use different cleaners.

You'll get lots of information from my favorite sex toy site, Adam and Eve. Right now they're featuring a G-spot vibrator, and they offer a picture explanation of where the G-spot is. But they also sell large and smaller vibrators with a skin-like covering, glass units that can be chilled and warmed before use (chilling gives a whole new exciting sensation), eggs that vibrate (all I can say is, wow!), and rabbit styles, some made of gel that I don't particularly find comfortable, but they also feature an additional appendage that vibrates the clitoris while the main part stimulates the vagina. Pussy and clit stimulation together can't be beat!

But, it all comes down to what you find comfortable. Browse Adam and Eve and other sites, read the reviews, and then pick something to try. There is no right or wrong unless what you try doesn't feel good.

Give Us a Break on Football

Q: Football season has just started and I'm already sick of it. My boyfriend is sitting there right now watching Michael Vick and the Eagles beat some other team. Thursday night it was Green Bay and New Orleans. On Monday it's Miami and someone else. Give me a break! Michael Vick shouldn't even be allowed to play pro ball anymore after what he did, and he's just one reason why men and boys shouldn't dedicate their lives to watching football. How can I stop having football on my TV every Sunday until January?

Anne: Every year we get letters from women who want their husbands or boyfriends to stop watching football. It's not going to happen. Find something else to do with your time—go to the movies or take up a craft or read (I can recommend a couple of great authors to you J ). Trying to keep football off the air is like trying to stop the day from dawning.

Dee: Believe me, I love thinking about men and balls, but I'm tired of telling women how to use sex to distract their significant others from football. If Michael Vick is more intriguing to your boyfriend than you are, too damn bad. Take your vibrator to the bedroom and work off some of your resentment. Then either join your guy on the couch and cheer on his favorite teams or find something else to do. You should at least enjoy the commercials—no show on TV has better commercials than football. It's only for a few months so for God's sake, stop whining. And that goes for the rest of your football widows out there.

The Eggs of Easter

Q: This is embarrassing to talk about, but I need advice. My boyfriend gave me an egg for Easter. To tell the truth, I don't have the faintest idea of what to do with it. Help!!

Anne: Is it a colored egg? We always used to eat them… Or is it one of those blown out, decorative eggs? They're pretty. If it falls outside those realms. I don't know, either.

Dee: Lucky you! The last egg I got from Adam and Eve sends me into orbit after only a few seconds of use. So here are a few suggestions. If it's remote controlled, plan an evening out. Dress up. Insert the egg, right about at your G-spot and make sure you hold it there—maybe with a thong if you wear them or by keeping your thighs tight, which actually increases the pleasure. Then present your boyfriend with the controller. Believe me, he will surprise you lots during your evening. and at the most delicious times. You will get a thrill and so will he, watching your reaction.

Or let him have control while you're in bed. Let him tease your pussy and clit. I'll bet that when you're good and wet he'll finish the job of bringing you to orgasm himself.

Last, the egg is great for those horny moments alone. Use your wildest fantasy and touch the vibrating egg to your clit. In no time at all you'll be smiling. The egg is one of my very favorite sex toys! Hope you enjoy yours as much.

Anne: Good heavens!

Seattle Quandary

Q: I found out my significant other is cheating on me. We've dated for three years, share a house and many interests. I recently received a promotion in my career which has meant more hours working, and now I find out he's screwing around with my secretary. I know this for a fact. The trouble is, I have loved the schmuck for years, I'm comfortable with him (except for his cheating), and have fun with him. I hate to lose what we have. I also hate to fire my secretary, who in all things (except sleeping with my "other") is superior. What I hate most is their lack of fidelity to their partner and boss.

Anne: Is there a question in there? Are you asking us if you should cut him loose or hang in there? I certainly can't answer that. I did notice that when you listed all the things about him you enjoy, you didn't mention that you love him. That seems a big consideration. If you let him go, would your heart feel ripped out? If so, sit him down and talk to him. If he's emotional cut the cord, it's probably too late no matter what you decide.

Dee: Look there are a zillion men who would be happy to share a house with a dedicated career woman and who have interest similar to yours. Aside from that, a great vibrator is pretty cheap and doesn't snore. However, a good secretary is hard to find. You do the math.

Birthday in Buffalo

Q: Last year I gave my girlfriend a sexy nightgown for her birthday and received a lecture on how I buy things for me instead of for her, whatever that means. Women's logic makes no sense to me. Anyway, she didn't wear the nightgown for a good long time but when she did, she was smokin' and we had the greatest sex we'd had in months. I want that again, so I found another, tiny little scrap of a nightgown and bought it, even though it set me back a week's salary. The thing is, I don't want another lecture or any more backward philosophy about how I don't care about her wants and needs. I satisfied her needs pretty damn well when she finally gave in and wore what I gave her. Any advice?

Anne: First off, what your girlfriend meant was that you bought the nightgown because you wanted to see her in it, not because you thought she would like to wear it. Women want a man to think of them and their wants and needs, not the man's. Maybe she would like something not quite so sexy, something she would be comfortable in, not just sexy in. Buying something that suits her desires shows you're thinking of her and not just yourself. Even if you did have a good night when she wore the gown, she still knows your mind focused on what you wanted to see her wearing, not what she wanted to wear. It's a fine distinction, but if you put your mind to it I'm sure you will understand.

I wish you hadn't already bought the nightgown this year--which, by the way means you didn't listen very well last year--but since you have, I'd say combine it with something else, something you know she wants. Maybe jewelry or flowers or a special perfume she has mentioned? Next year, perhaps you should ask her for suggestions. Let her buy the sexy gown to surprise you on your birthday.

Dee: Yeah, you should try to give her something she wants and not just what you want. But you want sex and if she's still with you, so does she. I'd say kick it up a notch, but not as a birthday gift, as an adjunct gift. Start off with some mind-blowing foreplay and then present her with the gown.

For that mind-blowing foreplay, take a look at Adam and Eve for a few suggestions. Try an egg vibrator--small but powerful. Or a G-spot stimulator--sure to bring pleasure. Or how about a finger vibrator? That way you're a part of the action. Once you have her interest, present her with the nightie to enhance what you've already started. The problem last year is, you wanted her to wear the nightgown as your foreplay, and she wants more than your cock growing hard, she wants some excitement, too.


Or maybe give her a nightgown as part of a romantic weekend away, like at Sybaris or someplace near you that specializes in dark corners and quiet rooms. The trick here is combining the sex with romance.

True, it's better to give the birthday person something they want. But flowers die, candy is cliché, and jewelry should be saved for when you really need to make-up. A finger vibrator lasts a long time past the birthday and it's a team sport. When she kicks your sorry ass out, it's the gift that keeps on giving when she's alone, too. What more can a woman ask for?