Q: My best friend—who also is my boyfriend—has been lying to me. He's been sleeping with my other best friend, who is also a guy! We're in our late twenties, so I feel so high school complaining about this, but I have to vent to someone. What do I do? If I cut them off for the lying, cheating bastards they are, I lose the two people closest to me.
Anne: You can't trust either of them. You're better off developing new friendships than trying to rehabilitate them. I say dump them for newer, improved versions.
Dee: Hell, try a threesome. Two guys, one you… Sounds fucking fantastic if you ask me (which you did).
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Monday, October 17, 2011
Child Abuse Without Using the Strap
Q: My mom hates me. I'm not just saying that, she really does. She's told me many times that I was a horrible mistake and how much she lost and gave up because she got pregnant with me. She never praises me for anything I do. I'm a sophomore in high school. I have very good grades and am a valued member of clubs and community organizations. I cook dinner every night and keep the house clean so when she comes home from work she has nothing to do. Still, all she ever does is run me into the ground and say how useless I am. In front of others she's sweetness and light about me, but in private it's just the opposite. I don't know how much longer I can take this. What should I do?
Anne: This is a tragic situation. You don't mention a father or other family members,. so I assume you and your mom are alone in the house. Is there an aunt or family friend you might be able to talk to? If not, I suggest speaking with a counselor at school (who should keep your conversations private) or maybe a minister. You need a responsible adult to whom you can talk frankly. Don't bottle your feelings. You have three years left before you can realistically leave the house, so find help with someone you trust. You might be able to find a solution that allows you to blossom despite your mother.
Dee: It sounds as though your mother is a shit, and Anne is right. This is child abuse and needs to stop right away. You need to find an adult who has your best interests are heart who can help you escape her abuse. That could be a doctor, a school counselor or nurse, a minister or even someone who heads one of the organizations you belong to. Most of those people can at least listen and offer suggestions as to a next step. Good luck.
Anne: This is a tragic situation. You don't mention a father or other family members,. so I assume you and your mom are alone in the house. Is there an aunt or family friend you might be able to talk to? If not, I suggest speaking with a counselor at school (who should keep your conversations private) or maybe a minister. You need a responsible adult to whom you can talk frankly. Don't bottle your feelings. You have three years left before you can realistically leave the house, so find help with someone you trust. You might be able to find a solution that allows you to blossom despite your mother.
Dee: It sounds as though your mother is a shit, and Anne is right. This is child abuse and needs to stop right away. You need to find an adult who has your best interests are heart who can help you escape her abuse. That could be a doctor, a school counselor or nurse, a minister or even someone who heads one of the organizations you belong to. Most of those people can at least listen and offer suggestions as to a next step. Good luck.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Tolerating Cheaters
Q: I am a high school senior. On our first math test I saw one of my best friends cheat off of the person sitting next to her. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose a friend, but what she did is wrong. On the other hand, is it so wrong? The person she cheated off of is really stupid, so she's bound to be worse off than if she'd just guessed. What should I do?
Anne: Whether or not the person off whom she cheated is worthy of being cheated off of isn't the question--it doesn't matter. I would find a way to ask your friend about the incident. Is there a chance you didn't see what you think? If she admits the cheating to you, it doesn't relieve you of responsibility. Your teacher needs to know.
Dee: At Virginia Military Institute, their honor code states that cheating, lying and stealing will not be tolerated and neither will people who themselves tolerate those things. This means that if you know your friend cheated and you do nothing, you're as much a problem as she is. You don't have to wave your arm in the air and shout, "Cheater!" but maybe there's a way you can alert your teacher to check the two papers. Send her a note if you don't want to talk to her in person, or talk to your parents and see if they will help. But once you let it go, it will always be there between you and your friend. Worse, she will be within her rights to say you're an accomplice.
Anne: Whether or not the person off whom she cheated is worthy of being cheated off of isn't the question--it doesn't matter. I would find a way to ask your friend about the incident. Is there a chance you didn't see what you think? If she admits the cheating to you, it doesn't relieve you of responsibility. Your teacher needs to know.
Dee: At Virginia Military Institute, their honor code states that cheating, lying and stealing will not be tolerated and neither will people who themselves tolerate those things. This means that if you know your friend cheated and you do nothing, you're as much a problem as she is. You don't have to wave your arm in the air and shout, "Cheater!" but maybe there's a way you can alert your teacher to check the two papers. Send her a note if you don't want to talk to her in person, or talk to your parents and see if they will help. But once you let it go, it will always be there between you and your friend. Worse, she will be within her rights to say you're an accomplice.
Monday, June 28, 2010
My Sister's Fiance
Q: I'm eighteen and old enough to know my own mind. I'll start off with that. My sister, twenty-four is engaged to a man I'm in love with. From the moment I saw him I knew he was the man for me. He's twenty-six, smart, handsome and sexy as hell. A few weeks ago we found ourselves alone and I flirted a little. Before I knew it, we were kissing. He touched me in places no one else ever has and I he let me give him head. Since then, we've had to be careful around others, but we've had the chance to kiss and fondle without anyone knowing. I decided not to go to college, choosing to work instead. He's finishing up his Ph.D. in psychology, and could use a wife willing and able to help support the household until he gets on his feet. My sister wants to stay at home and start having kids. We went shopping for her wedding dress last week and as soon as I saw her in bridal white I knew it should be me walking down the aisle instead. How do I tell her with the least amount of drama?
Anne: I respect that you are working instead of going to college if that's what you want, but here are a few words you might need to look up: fidelity, trust, loyalty, sister, love. Or how about SANITY? I mean really. You flirted with your sister's fiancé, had sex with him and then continued finding ways to cheat with him behind her back. As despicable as I find his behavior, he's an outsider. You're family. She can get rid of the jerk (and should), but she's stuck with you. More's the pity. Here's my advice: Back off, little girl. Keep your hands (and mouth) off your sister's man. And if you really want to do some good, find some way to let her know what a scumbag she's about to marry before it's too late.
Dee: Well, damn. I sure hope you received some compensation for the blow job(s) you gave Asshole because otherwise you're going to be left shit out of luck when this little cluster fuck becomes known. And believe me, it will come out, if not from you to your sister, then from him or someone else. There's no such thing as the perfect secret, don't you know? And if you pointedly explain to your sister how you deserve Asshole more than she does (and I happen to agree about that), you'll lose Asshole and your sister. In fact, I'd be surprised if you were invited to Thanksgiving dinners if you do that.
This is my advice to you: keep your mouth closed from now on, mostly when Asshole has his zipper open. Stay away from him and grow up. The only man in the world you're interested in is the one guy your sister supposedly loves? To me that speaks more of sibling rivalry than a true feeling on your part. Come to grips with the fact that he's eight years older than you and studying psychology, a surefire way to find out how to manipulate people, especially immature, younger sisters who are willing to suck cock. Stop being an idiot and remember your sister is your sister forever. Assholes come and go. Trust me when I say that as soon as you tell your sister that you love her man—and he loves you back—you'll lose her trust and love and he'll drop you like an STD.
And oh yeah, talk with someone and determine how to warn your sister that Asshole is just that. If you continue on this path and/or let her marry him when you know what kind of man he really is, you'll make sin even worse.
Anne: I respect that you are working instead of going to college if that's what you want, but here are a few words you might need to look up: fidelity, trust, loyalty, sister, love. Or how about SANITY? I mean really. You flirted with your sister's fiancé, had sex with him and then continued finding ways to cheat with him behind her back. As despicable as I find his behavior, he's an outsider. You're family. She can get rid of the jerk (and should), but she's stuck with you. More's the pity. Here's my advice: Back off, little girl. Keep your hands (and mouth) off your sister's man. And if you really want to do some good, find some way to let her know what a scumbag she's about to marry before it's too late.
Dee: Well, damn. I sure hope you received some compensation for the blow job(s) you gave Asshole because otherwise you're going to be left shit out of luck when this little cluster fuck becomes known. And believe me, it will come out, if not from you to your sister, then from him or someone else. There's no such thing as the perfect secret, don't you know? And if you pointedly explain to your sister how you deserve Asshole more than she does (and I happen to agree about that), you'll lose Asshole and your sister. In fact, I'd be surprised if you were invited to Thanksgiving dinners if you do that.
This is my advice to you: keep your mouth closed from now on, mostly when Asshole has his zipper open. Stay away from him and grow up. The only man in the world you're interested in is the one guy your sister supposedly loves? To me that speaks more of sibling rivalry than a true feeling on your part. Come to grips with the fact that he's eight years older than you and studying psychology, a surefire way to find out how to manipulate people, especially immature, younger sisters who are willing to suck cock. Stop being an idiot and remember your sister is your sister forever. Assholes come and go. Trust me when I say that as soon as you tell your sister that you love her man—and he loves you back—you'll lose her trust and love and he'll drop you like an STD.
And oh yeah, talk with someone and determine how to warn your sister that Asshole is just that. If you continue on this path and/or let her marry him when you know what kind of man he really is, you'll make sin even worse.
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