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Monday, May 28, 2012


You all know Anne and I come from a military family, and so does Jack. Please join us in remembering those who have fallen or have been injured in protecting our great country. Please also keep their families in your prayers--they serve, too!

See you next week.

Monday, May 21, 2012

The Programmer and the Lady

Q: What is the attraction of working class men to career women? I'm a programmer. I make a decent salary, I dress well, and (if I may say so) am very intelligent. I have a clear idea of the kind of woman I want: beautiful, a particular height and weight, intelligent, a lady who had a career. But whenever I meet someone who comes close to matching my desires, she didn't want a steady, smart guy like me, she wanted a construction worker, or a biker. I'm honestly perplexed. What's wrong with women these days??
Anne: You mean besides the fact some of us have become as shallow as men? Really, look at your list. You won't consider a beautiful, intelligent woman over a "particular height and weight"? Give me a break. You need to be looking at the woman inside the body, not the outside shell for a real relationship. Looks come and go, but substance lasts forever. 

Dee: Yeah, substance is good, but there's more to it than that. There's something sensual about calloused fingers stroking breasts and legs rather than pampered and manicured hands. Of course, there's the sensation of smoothing your hands over firm muscles instead of flab, and there's also the image of a working man having staying power in the sack because of the shape he's in. No PC, mamby-pamby desk jockey, a working man has the strength and confidence to verbalize what he wants (and what he wants to do to you), and then carry it out, without one eye on the Blackberry and a hand reaching for the cell phone to schedule the next meeting. 

A desk jockey—even a well-paid, intelligent programmer—has a lot to prove. A woman already knows that a bull rider knows what to do with a rope, and that a biker can put something hard and strong between her legs. Prove you can fuck a woman to death rather than code her into boredom, and you might have a shot.

Monday, May 14, 2012

The Benefits of Travel

Q: I have worked all my life and now I want to take time and travel. Unfortunately, I'm married to a home-body. How can I convince my wife of the wonders of traveling the world?

Anne: Travel companies compose their brochures to show the very best of the places they travel, Choose places you're interested in and find some brochures. The pictures and descriptions should entice her into getting out and around.

Dee: Use sex. (Yeah, right. Like you don't already know how to do that.) But I mean find places that encourage the activity. I know for a fact that many of the houses uncovered in Pompeii are covered in graphic depictions of people fucking. You'll turn an ankle hurrying back to the hotel. And there's a temple in Thailand that boasts the same, including anal sex and blowjobs. Suggest you go to India, home of the Kama Sutra, where you might take a few hours to study the text—or at least the pictures. That's what I always look at.

Travel doesn't always have to be about learning another culture in polite, in-company ways. There could be a lot for the two of you to explore with (and in) each other if you choose your travels well. Good luck!

Monday, May 7, 2012

Anniversary Blues

Q: My wife keeps forgetting our anniversary. How can I remind her?

Anne: Send her a note a week or so beforehand inviting her to dinner to celebrate a "special day." Hard to forget that.

Dee: Screw her brains out every night for about a week ahead. She still might not remember the date but neither of you will care.