Q: I found out my significant other is cheating on me. We've dated for three years, share a house and many interests. I recently received a promotion in my career which has meant more hours working, and now I find out he's screwing around with my secretary. I know this for a fact. The trouble is, I have loved the schmuck for years, I'm comfortable with him (except for his cheating), and have fun with him. I hate to lose what we have. I also hate to fire my secretary, who in all things (except sleeping with my "other") is superior. What I hate most is their lack of fidelity to their partner and boss.
Anne: Is there a question in there? Are you asking us if you should cut him loose or hang in there? I certainly can't answer that. I did notice that when you listed all the things about him you enjoy, you didn't mention that you love him. That seems a big consideration. If you let him go, would your heart feel ripped out? If so, sit him down and talk to him. If he's emotional cut the cord, it's probably too late no matter what you decide.
Dee: Look there are a zillion men who would be happy to share a house with a dedicated career woman and who have interest similar to yours. Aside from that, a great vibrator is pretty cheap and doesn't snore. However, a good secretary is hard to find. You do the math.
Showing posts with label being faithful. long-distance relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label being faithful. long-distance relationship. Show all posts
Monday, May 3, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
Semper Fi Myself
Q: My fiancé is a Marine in the Middle East. I love him and he loves me but he always thinks I'm cheating on him. If I tell him I've gone out with friends, he asks if there were men there. If I don't mention going out, he thinks I'm hiding something from him. I don't know how to prove I'm faithful and in love with him. Any suggestions?
Anne: Is he like this when he's home? If so, I'd say you have a serious problem with your relationship. No couple can withstand constant jealousy or lack of trust. Send him a copy of this column. Let him see your frustration. All I can say is, keep reassuring him. Hopefully he will come to see your heart is his. I'm praying for his safety and speedy return.
Dee: It's easy to doubt something good in life when you're facing the worst every day. I have to ask, though, have you ever before given him reason to distrust you? 99.9% of military wives are true and live for their men to come home. It's that .1% every military man dreads, so if you've cheated before that might be reason enough for him to think you could cheat again. If you go out with friends to bars (where, sad to say, men might try to pick you up or, sadder to say, you might be the picker instead of the pickee), as opposed to church dinners, then he might worry, even if you've been purer than Caesar's wife in the past. Or it could be that he's just fearful you might cheat no matter what you have or haven't done before--in which case you two need to talk with someone and try to work things out before the wedding.
Semper fi!
Anne: Is he like this when he's home? If so, I'd say you have a serious problem with your relationship. No couple can withstand constant jealousy or lack of trust. Send him a copy of this column. Let him see your frustration. All I can say is, keep reassuring him. Hopefully he will come to see your heart is his. I'm praying for his safety and speedy return.
Dee: It's easy to doubt something good in life when you're facing the worst every day. I have to ask, though, have you ever before given him reason to distrust you? 99.9% of military wives are true and live for their men to come home. It's that .1% every military man dreads, so if you've cheated before that might be reason enough for him to think you could cheat again. If you go out with friends to bars (where, sad to say, men might try to pick you up or, sadder to say, you might be the picker instead of the pickee), as opposed to church dinners, then he might worry, even if you've been purer than Caesar's wife in the past. Or it could be that he's just fearful you might cheat no matter what you have or haven't done before--in which case you two need to talk with someone and try to work things out before the wedding.
Semper fi!
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