Chunky Hips, Not Fat Head

Q: I am overweight. Not horribly, terribly, but well, I guess a fair amount. I like to eat and enjoy cooking. And I'm good at both. I'm Italian, what can I say? For the first time in my life (I'm 28) I have a boyfriend, Mac, and I think it's getting serious. He's lean and mean without an ounce of body fat. Mac runs (I don't), plays weekend sports (I don't), belongs to a health club (I don't). He's considering taking part in the Boston marathon. If he does, I'll meet him at the finish line. Mac says he loves me no matter what, but his family is a different story. They're all active like Mac, but unlike Mac, I don't feel they will love me no matter what. He's taking me with him and his family to Cape Cod for two weeks this month and I'm so worried I'm making myself sick. What can I do?

Anne: Have you told Mac your fears? I'm sure he would do whatever he could to help. That aside, you have to let his family know that you are happy with yourself. If you are relaxed and confident in your own personality that will come across. That's what it takes to help them see beyond your shape and into your heart.

If your relationship with Mac does continue, maybe being around someone who's active will inspire you to do more. Exercise is a great thing to do with someone else (like someone you love), so I see only a win-win for you. Good luck!

Dee: Normally when someone is worried I say make sure there's plenty of booze and ice cream, but…well you seem to like this Mac guy. Sometimes alcohol isn't the best policy, and ice cream…? Doesn't seem appropriate in the situation, does it? Listen, Mac is the person you love. Let his family see what he loves about you--your humor, your unique perspective on the world, your fantastic risotto--whatever it is. Don't try to be someone you're not. If they don't appreciate you and it's because of your size, well then screw 'em. There's no hope for some people.