The Eggs of Easter

Q: This is embarrassing to talk about, but I need advice. My boyfriend gave me an egg for Easter. To tell the truth, I don't have the faintest idea of what to do with it. Help!!

Anne: Is it a colored egg? We always used to eat them… Or is it one of those blown out, decorative eggs? They're pretty. If it falls outside those realms. I don't know, either.

Dee: Lucky you! The last egg I got from Adam and Eve sends me into orbit after only a few seconds of use. So here are a few suggestions. If it's remote controlled, plan an evening out. Dress up. Insert the egg, right about at your G-spot and make sure you hold it there—maybe with a thong if you wear them or by keeping your thighs tight, which actually increases the pleasure. Then present your boyfriend with the controller. Believe me, he will surprise you lots during your evening. and at the most delicious times. You will get a thrill and so will he, watching your reaction.

Or let him have control while you're in bed. Let him tease your pussy and clit. I'll bet that when you're good and wet he'll finish the job of bringing you to orgasm himself.

Last, the egg is great for those horny moments alone. Use your wildest fantasy and touch the vibrating egg to your clit. In no time at all you'll be smiling. The egg is one of my very favorite sex toys! Hope you enjoy yours as much.

Anne: Good heavens!

All Tied Up

Q: My husband says our sex life has become old. Well, after wrestling four kids under the age of 7 all day, yeah I'm tired at night. Lately I've found bondage site on our computer history, and I wonder if that's what he has in mind to spice things up. I admit, I could go for a little light bondage—emphasis on light. But how can I be sure he doesn't want to go farther than I'm willing?

Anne: Well, you have to talk to him plainly about what you are and are not willing to do. Make sure you are both on the same page so your expectations are acceptable. Remember, once you're tied to the bedposts, you are only able to do so much until you are untied. Is this what you want?

Dee: Good for you, for being willing to try something new. As long as neither party goes beyond what the other is willing to accept, bondage can be fun. On the other hand, it can get pretty complicated. For a free site to check out, try Bondage. Or Bedroom Bondage, with the innocuous looking Lorelei to put you at ease. Don't forget, bondage goes both ways—strap him to the bedposts, too. It does a man good to be totally at a woman's mercy now and then. A blowjob while he's unable to do anything is pretty amazing to a guy--or so I'm told. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you both agree to it. Then let your fantasies run free. If you trust your partner, there should be no fear, only pleasure. Here's to getting tied up in each other!

Nearly 60 and Loving It

Q: I am a woman nearly 60-years old and quite well off. I have become attracted to a man in his early 20s. In fact, he's finishing college this spring. He's bright and intelligent and young, and he makes me feel young again. He escorts me to opera, ballet and art gallery openings, but truth be told I'd want to be with him for the sex alone. It's better than anything I've ever known—intense, emotional and frequent. He's taught me about anal sex (which I've never been brave enough to try) and things like pocket rockets and ben wa balls. Sex with him is like a whole, forbiiden world I've loved exploring. The problem is my friends, family and his friends and family. On his side, everyone thinks he's doing something awful spending his time with an old woman. On my side, everyone thinks he's after my money and just wants to live off me. They are making life difficult for us. I'm in this for the ride and have no illusions that he loves me. I give him gifts because I like to and I can. Is there anything wrong with that?

Anne: It could be said that you are leading him down a bad path, encouraging him to rely on a woman for his livelihood. However, if both of you accept the rules of the game you've started, I don't see anything wrong with what you're doing. I would advise you not to sign anything.

Dee: Good golly. You're almost 60 and you snapped up a young 20 something guy?? How the hell did you do that? Conversation, escort duties and all the fucking you can handle (or maybe more, dare I hope?). Life has treated you well woman! Tell those screwball friends and family that they're just jealous and if they can't get with the program, to buzz off. Take life by the horns! You can't make your friends happy and they shouldn't have the power to fuck up your happiness.

A Horse Ain't Always a Horse

Q: My boyfriend of three months and I just finished watching Secretariat. I thought it was a sweet, brave and inspiring movie. Jim made wisecracks all through it until I didn't even want to sit there with him. When it was over I showed him the door and he acts like he doesn't know why I'm upset. This has pointed out that his attitude about the movie is present in all kinds of things—things I'd been willing to overlook. Now I wonder if I should be overlooking them. If his actions during a movie bother me this much, won't other things—more important things—bother me even more in the future?

Anne: I would say that this might be a sign of things to come, so maybe you should think through this relationship carefully. Life ain't a movie.

Dee: Know what I got out of Secretariat? He sired 600 foals! That was one fucking good horse. Really, are you asking us about whether you should stay with your boyfriend because he made fun of a "sweet, brave, inspiring" movie? Are you listening to yourself??